You Are What You Is
by I Am The Influence
Summary: Takes place during a slight AU of Never Been Kissed. Puck makes Kurt his community service when he finds him shattered in the locker room. It's kind of hard though, considering Kurt hates his guts. SLASH! Full summary and warnings inside.
1. CourageKissLost

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Glee or any of it's characters yadda, yadda, yadda. Title of story taken from Frank Zappa's record of the same name.

**Warnings**: Slash parings. (Kurt/Puck) Disturbing images. Angst. Slight AUs. I will add warnings to the beginning of chapters if there is anything new.

**Full Summary: **Takes place during a slight AU of Never Been Kissed. Puck makes Kurt his community service when he finds him shattered in the locker room. It's kind of hard though, considering Kurt hates his guts. But Kurt soon finds that he is not the only one with issues. And when he stops to think about it, who is Noah Puckerman really?

**Author's Note**: First Glee fic so I hope you enjoy it and please review! This story hasn't got a betta so tell me any major errors and I will do me best to fix them. Oh, and Please review! *****UPDATE*** Thanks to PurtFTW who noticed a spelling flaw, which is now fixed.**

**You are What you Is**

**Chapter 1: Courage/Kiss/Lost**

"Hey!" Kurt Hummel yelled as he chased after Dave Karofsky. "I am talking to you!" He practically screamed as he burst into the locker room door. He was pissed, and hurt, and more than ready to finally start standing up for himself. He was sick of being bullied, sick of the shocked looks he got, while no one lifted a finger to help him.

"Girl's locker room is down the hall." Karofsky's voice was calm and steady.

_Courage_. Kurt reminded himself firmly. "What are you so afraid of?"

Karofsky turned to him. "Besides you sneaking in here to peak at my junk."

Kurt wasn't anywhere near ready to back down. "Oh yeah, every straight guys nightmare! That all us gays are secretly out to molest and convert you. Well guess what ham hock? You're not my type."

"That right?" Karofsky replied, and there was a strange edge to his voice, but Kurt didn't notice; he was nearly blind with rage.

_Courage_.

"Yeah." Kurt started before the other boy was hardly finished. "I don't dig on chubby boys who sweat too much and are going to be bald by the time their thirty."

"Do not push me Hummel!" And he clenched his hand into a fist, holding it up to Kurt's face.

Kurt glanced at the meaty hand, a disgusted look on his face. "You gonna hit me?"

"Don't push me!" He warned again.

Kurt was already talking over him. "You gonna hit me!" He repeated. "Do it. Cause it's not gonna change who I am. You can't punch the gay out of me anymore than I can punch the ignoramus out of you!"

Clearly enraged by Kurt's lack of fear, Karofsky's voice was nearly hysterical when he screamed, "GET OUTT MY FACE!" He brought his face close to Kurt's – too close.

Despite it, Kurt kept on yelling, kept on pushing him. _Courage. _"You are nothing but a scared little boy who can't handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are-"

Kurt's yelling voice was cut off by the force of the kiss. He stood paralyzed, all of his courage gone as Karofsky brought his hand up to his face. All he could do was wait for it to end- he saw the beads of sweat on Karofsky's forehead and how the larger boy had his eyes tightly shut as if in pain.

What seemed like much too long of a time passed and Karofsky pulled away. All Kurt could hear was the pounding of his own heart, all he could feel was the rush of blood through his body.

For a split second they stared at each other, than Karofsky let out a pathetic whimper and leaned his face down for another kiss. Kurt pushed against him with all his might, pushing himself away from him more than the other way around. For a moment Kurt thought the other boy would flee but that hope was shattered as the hockey player growled and shoved Kurt against the lockers.

Kurt gasped in pain as he hit the cold metal-he hated the familiar feeling of the handles bruising his back. Karofsky's mouth was on his again in a second, and Kurt pushed and thrashed against the other boy unsuccessfully. Dave pinned his hands to his sides easily. Any frantic kicks Kurt made toward the other boy's legs or groin either missed miserably or went entirely unnoticed.

Harsh lips attacked his jaw and teeth bit at his neck.

A horrible nauseous feeling rose into Kurt's stomach, because this _wasn't right._ He could smell Karofsky's BO and taste his bad breath. "You're disgusting." Kurt spat, because it was all he could do.

"That right?" Karofsky said in the same tone as before, except this time he had a slight smile on his face. He leaned in toward Kurt's mouth again, kissing him with mock tenderness.

Kurt bit down on the larger boy's lower lip as hard as he could. He almost gagged as he felt his teeth break the skin. Karofsky pulled away, releasing Kurt and cursing.

Kurt was too busy spitting out Karofsky's blood to see his fist.

"Fucking bitch!" Dave screamed as he made contact with the soprano's right eye_._ Before Kurt had any time to recover from the punch, he was being pulled from the lockers, and then shoved back into them, _hard_.

Kurt gasped for breath as the wind was knocked out of him. Karofsky fled the room as Kurt fell to the ground, trying desperately to remember how to find his lungs.

The locker room filled with a deafening silence as Kurt slowly regained his ability to breath.

With his breath came tears, of anger, shame and defeat.

_Courage. _He tried to remind himself, but it just made the tears fall faster. He felt as if there wasn't a single courageous bone left in his body. He doubted there ever would be again.

It was then that the locker room door began to open; a sight that Kurt would have been grateful for minutes before, but now it caused him a panic. He sat with his arms wrapped around his legs, not daring to move an inch. He was terrified it might be Karofsky coming back for more.

"Hummel?" The voice had the numb tone of shock in it.

"Noah." Kurt breathed a sigh of relief. He had never been so happy to see the Mohawked Neanderthal. "It's just you."

Puck took in the appearance of Kurt. His face was tear-stained and unusually pale, and his right eye looked like it was beginning to bruise. His clothes where uncharacteristically wrinkled and via the pushed up sleeves of the small boy's jacket, he could see hints of more fresh brusies on his wrists.

Puck approached him, setting on the bench directly in front of him. Kurt was staring blankly ahead, a gesture that Puck wasn't sure was conscious or not. "What the hell happened to you?" He breathed.

Somehow, that simple question is what caused the levee in Kurt's mind to break. What had it been exactly that happened to him? He wasn't sure. All he knew at this moment was that he desperately didn't want Noah Puckerman to see what was about to happen.

Kurt started to sob.

He sobbed silently into his knees for a full fifteen minutes; because he hated Dave Karofsky, and he hated himself for thinking confronting the boy would do any good at all. He mourned the loss of his first kiss-the loss of his courageous bones.

Puck sat still, not daring to move, or to say anything at all. He's not ashamed to admit that he thought about walking out of the room as soon as Kurt got that screwed up look on his face. He wasn't good at handling it when girls cry, and somehow it was worse seeing a boy cry. Seeing Kurt cry.

As his tears where slowing down the school bell rang and with the clear ringing sound, a bit of Kurt's head was cleared as well. He lifted said clearing head from his knees, and leaned it against his lockers, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around his legs.

Kurt was sucking down air in big lungfulls. He seemed to have himself under control now.

"I'm uh-" Puck stammered, and it was totally not badass. "I'm going to get Mr. Shue."

Kurt shook his head, scrambling to his feet. "No!" He took another deep breath to calm himself. "I'm fine, Puck." Kurt gracefully walked to the mirrors, seeing that he really did look quite awful. He pulled out a handkerchief and started to delicately wipe the tears and snot off his face.

Puck growled. "The hell you are-"

"Listen you pig," Kurt spat with a surprising amount of anger. "Though I'm sure your concern for me would be very much appreciated if it weren't so fantastically out of character, I'm going to have to ask you as kindly as I know how to leave me the fuck alone."

Puck's jaw dropped. "Look here fairy queen, I'm trying to be cool. You're the one who went and got all time-of-the-month on me."

"Real charming Puck. You must have fit right in at juvie with the rest of the dull-witted delinquents."

"You want to be a bitch? That's fine with me. Just don't expect anyone to give a damn the next time you cry on the locker room floor."

With that Puck left, the door swinging viciously behind him. Kurt stared at himself in the mirror, taking a few shaky breaths before raising the handkerchief to his face once more.


	2. At Least You Have Your Prideoh wait…

**Author's Note: **Wow! Do you have any idea how many people alerted this story? Like thirty… Thank you all so much! Especially those of you who reviewed! I'd also like to say before I start that I'm really worried about this chapter. I want it to seem realistic, but not cheesy or drawn out. So make sure to tell me what you think of it in a review! Because I need reviews to make this story good! And for those looking for more characters they will start appearing in chapter three.

**You Are What You Is**

**Chapter 2: At Least You Have Your Pride-oh wait…**

One of the many things Kurt took great pride in, besides his witty banter, his fabulous wardrobe and his incredibly keen taste in music and movies, was how well he took care of his body, and his skin. In fact, he was sure he was the only boy at McKinley High that was completely blemish free. But alas, no matter how good of care you take of your skin, the occasional stray pimple manages to force its way to the surface. (Ugh, puberty) This is why Kurt kept concealer in his locker at all times.

This came in handy when after English class, he caught sight of himself in his locker's mirror. The black eye, Kurt saw, really wasn't all that bad. It hurt like hell sure, but unless someone was looking unusually close, they wouldn't notice it at all. Still though… he carefully dabbed the thin powder over the tender area causing the mark to disappear entirely.

He wasn't sure why he did this. Wouldn't it be easier to just go to _Principal_ Figgins and explain what had happened? He was sure he could get Karofsky at least suspended. That would make a tremendous difference on the quality of his life. So what was he so afraid of?

But no…This wasn't fear-

"Yo, Pride Parade." The voice of Noah Puckerman sounded from behind him, disturbing him from his thoughts.

He rolled his eyes, continuing the automatic task of evening his complexion, and decided to simply pretend he hadn't heard him.

"I was thinking we could help each other out." Puck said confidently leaning against the row of lockers, unfazed by Kurt's lack of response.

Kurt put away his concealer, and loudly shut his locker. "I thought I told you to leave me alone." He mumbled brushing past the boy.

Puck easily kept up with Kurt's strides "You know, I got out of juvie cause I agreed to do community service."

"That's fascinating," Kurt replied dryly. "Really."

Puck continued over Kurt. "I told my probation officer that I knew a cripple who needed some help getting around, but then I realized helping the queer kid would totally look more… sympathetic or whatever."

Kurt stopped walking, turning quickly to him. "You want to make _me _your community service?" Kurt spat disgusted at the very thought.

Puck shrugged. "Well… yeah." He suddenly felt awkward, but he pushed it aside. "You could use like, a body guard right? Not only do I get to pummel idiots into the ground, but I don't have to pick up trash on the highway. It's a win-win."

Kurt blinked several times, "I think the steroids are clouding your judgment."

Puck shook his head. "No, they're not. Well, at least not right now."

"Am I being punk'd?" Kurt looked around at the passing students, none of whom were paying the two boys any mind. "You told me earlier today that you didn't give a damn. Now suddenly you're a Good Samaritan?"

"I'm not saying that I do give a damn. And I'm not saying that I'm going to be _nice_ to you or anything either." He said the word 'nice' like it caused him pain. "I'm just trying to help a boy out, and get off of probation at the same time." He shrugged. "It's pretty simple."

"Isn't everything in that head of yours simple?" Puck looked confused but before he could respond Kurt was already talking."I don't want your help, nor do I need it. It's a pity though...florescent orange _really_ doesn't compliment your skin tone." Kurt started to walk away again; he was about three feet from freedom when Puck called after him.

"Your makeup can't make Karofsky disappear too."

For the second time in one conversation, Noah Puckerman caused Kurt to stop dead in his tracks. He whipped around and grabbed him by the arm pulling him aside, because now they were starting to attract attention.

"Are you trying to get me killed?" Kurt whispered fiercely.

"I was going to the locker room to get my cigarettes and he nearly ran into me when I turned the corner." He said quickly by way of explanation. "His lip was bleeding pretty bad, I figured someone finally got fed up with his fat face and punched it in…Then I found you." He shrugged once more. "I figured it out while I was napping in the Nurse's office, and I came up with the community service idea."

Kurt swallowed hard, looking away. "You talk a lot, you know that?"

"I'm a stud." Puck said and Kurt had to roll his eyes at the catch phrase. "Hang out with me for two weeks and no one will mess with you."

Kurt for the first time in the conversation paused. "…Two weeks?"

Puck smiled. "Two weeks."

The truth was Kurt's pride had been hurt, perhaps beyond repair. He was not only attacked in the most humiliating way, but he was seen defeated and sobbing by the biggest dull-witted ass to ever roam the halls of McKinley -Noah Puckerman. But Puck didn't know what had really happened between him and Karofsky, and he would never have to. He could use Puck as a way to feel safe for two weeks.

For two weeks.

The words echoed in his head, and they succeeded in making him incredibly pissed off. Two weeks and then what? Twice today he had already seen Karofsky in the halls and each time it sent him running for the bathroom. The first time he threw up, the second time he just felt the walls close in on him.

And he realized that this horrible irrational emotion that was creeping through him wasn't because he was pissed off. It was because he was embarrassed. Embarrassed about what he had allowed to happen to him, and what Puck was now offering him. He had never needed anyone before, and he certainly didn't need anyone now.

Kurt looked at Puck straight on, so there would be no mistaking his next words. "I hate you. You've thrown me in dumpsters since grade school. You threw pee balloons at me. And in a fit of creativity you nailed all my lawn furniture to my roof."

"That wasn't actually my idea-"

"I don't care!" Kurt nearly screamed, before collecting himself again. "You want to be my body guard, make me feel safe here? That's absurd because you've done nothing but hurt me."

"You know Hummel, I don't think you get this." Puck grabbed Kurt by the collar of his Burberry Jacket as he tried to walk away for the third time. "It's not my problem if you don't want my help, because that's exactly what you're getting. I am _not_ picking up trash like I'm from the ghetto, and I am _not_ going back to juvie."

"Please let go of me." Kurt said quietly-and he hated how pathetic his voice sounded.

Puck did, after a moment. He would admit that maybe he was a little too use to getting his way by force.

Kurt made a show of dusting himself off. "Do what you like Puck, but no matter what, I'm always going to hate you."

"That's fine with me Princess." Puck said holding up his hands in a kind of surrender, but Kurt was already walking away.

In the silence before the bell rung, Puck marveled in his victory.

Juvie had been awful, and there was a certain type of paralyzing fear that gripped him when faced with the possibility of going back there. But in two short weeks he would never half to worry about that place again. And if somehow his brilliant, flawless plan didn't work?

He would take the first bus out of Lima Ohio.


	3. Entitled to Sympathy

**Author's Note:** Again, thank you to all the wonderful people who have reviewed. You make my life, keep those delicious reviews coming! On another note this chapter has a lot of dialogue and **!warning!** is a little bit angsty. But I really liked this, and enjoyed writing it a lot. I hope all of you enjoy reading it.

**You Are What You Is**

**Chapter 3: Entitled to Sympathy**

"I think you might be taking this a little too seriously." Kurt snapped as he climbed with as much grace as possible into Puck's truck. "I mean are you even remotely aware of how absurd this is? You don't have to be my chauffeur."

Puck shifted into reverse. "I'm no one's chauffeur, lady-boy." Kurt rolled his eyes. "The best place for you to get ambushed is walking from the parking lot to school. I'm kind of an expert on bullying."

Kurt crossed his legs, adopting a superior expression. "I still don't see why I couldn't have just gone to school with Finn like I normally do. We do live together after all."

"Does he even know what that jerk did to you?"

Kurt shifted uncomfortably, _neither do you._

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Puck responded to Kurt's silence, glancing over at him for the first time, he cringed. "You know, this would be a lot easier if you tried to at least dress normal." Puck sighed, snatching Kurt's sequence hat off his head and throwing it onto the dash.

Kurt replaced it immediately, flipping open the passenger's side mirror to check its position. "Keep your dirty hands _off_ my belongings." He hissed.

"And your jeans?" Puck continued ignoring Kurt's anger. "Are those even men's jeans?"

Kurt turned his body toward Puck, staring at him incredulously. "Puck. These are _Earnest Sewn _jeans." He spoke as if he was speaking of the Holy Grail itself. "Their worth more than the shitty Triton V8 engine in your so called 'Super-Duty truck'"

"How the fuck do you know what my engine is?"

"Seriously, what is your gas mileage?"

Puck downshifted a bit more violently than he probably had to. "Don't diss on my truck Hummel."

"Don't touch my hat." Kurt spoke slowly and dangerously. "Wait," he said suddenly as the car turned down an unfamiliar road. "Where are we going?"

Puck looked uncomfortable. "To my house, I forgot me cell phone."

"We're going to be late!" Kurt whined.

Puck scoffed. "You insisted that I pick you up a half hour early; we have time."

"No we don't! I like being early, now I'm going to be late."

"Late to being early?"

Kurt paused, because when said like that, it did sound rather ridiculous. He glared at the smug expression on Puck's face. "Do you absolutely need your cell phone?"

Puck nodded. "Yeah, In case my sister needs a ride home from play practice. Besides, were already here." He turned into a short but wide driveway, and Kurt was actually surprised to see the house was just as he imagined it.

It was one of those one story modular homes which always looked so out of place. There was a small garden next to the door which was dying from lack of care.

"I'll be right back." Puck said as Kurt unhooked his seat belt.

"I'm not waiting in the car like a dog." He replied scathingly.

Puck shrugged, "Have it you way."

Kurt followed Puck up the concrete stairs and inside the warm house. He looked around to see that Puck's parents weren't exactly the best house keepers in the world, but all in all, it wasn't too bad.

"Wait here." Puck instructed as he shut the door behind them. This time Kurt stayed where he was, surveying the wallpaper in the living room with distaste.

"Who are you?" Kurt turned quickly to see a middle aged woman whom he assumed was

Puck's mom walk from the hallway he had just disappeared into.

"I'm Kurt Hummel." He said with a polite smile, but he just got a blank stare in response.

"A friend of Noah's." He supplied, and he could practically see the wheels turning slowly in her head.

"Right." She said walking over to a cabinet on the far side of the room. She seemed to collect herself more and the next time she spoke it was much more warmly. "Sorry, it's early in the morning, my brain isn't working yet." She pulled out a bottle of dark liquid.

Kurt was about to tell her it was okay when Puck walked back into the room. "Mom?" He asked surprised. "You're up early."

"Of course I am." She snapped, picking up an already half full glass from the top of the cabinet, "What were you thinking, huh?" She lacked all the warmth she had just seconds before as she poured herself a drink. "Bringing company here at this hour?" She paused as something occurred to her. "Did you even come home last night?"

Puck looked annoyed. "Can we not do this right now?"

Kurt shifted awkwardly from where he stood at the door, wondering if he should leave.

"You didn't did you?" Puck visibly recoiled as she took a few steps toward him.

"Not _now_ mom."

"You were whoring yourself out again." She spat looking at him with an expression of utter revulsion. "You're disgusting."

_Harsh lips attacked his jaw and teeth bit at his neck. _

That same nauseous feeling from yesterday took hold of Kurt as he heard himself saying those same exact words to Karofsky. Puck didn't deserve those words.

"I have to go mom." Puck said quietly, brushing past her quickly.

"Don't you dare walk away from me!" She shouted after him.

"Hurry up." Puck snapped at Kurt as he walked by him and out the door. Kurt heard him mumble something else under his breath, it sounded like _I'm sorry._

"Um-Nice meeting you Miss Puckerman." Kurt said lamely before practically running to catch up with Puck.

They spent a few moments driving in uncomfortable silence. Puck's knuckles where white as he gripped the steering wheel and Kurt could see that his jaw was clenched. The expression on his face was carefully controlled.

"Puck-"

"Shut it." He interrupted firmly.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't want your sympathy."

So Kurt did 'shut it', turning to look out the window- because that was exactly what he had intended to give. Because he felt Puck was entitled to a little sympathy.

* * *

After carefully observing Kurt walk to his lunch table with Mercedes, Tina, and Artie, Puck sat down with his tray between Brittany and Santana. The two girls moved apart from one another, making a little more room for him. He leaned over and kissed Santana on the cheek. A gesture which she did an amazing job at ignoring.

"C'mon babe, don't be like that."

Santana glared. "Rumor has it that you drove Lima's resident queer to school today." She delicately took a sip of that funky smelling drink Coach Sylvester made all the cheerios consume. "If you've switched teams, now's the time to tell me."

Puck scoffed. "He's my community service Santana. In two weeks I'll be rid of the fag."

"Whatever you say Puck." She spoke with a great deal of condescension in her voice, as she rose with her drink. "Just remember that Santana Lopez is nobody's beard."

Brittany rose to follow her but stopped to whisper in Puck's ear. "If you and Kurt are doing it, you should totally send me pictures."

Puck stared down at his Sloppy Joe unsure what exactly, had just happened.


	4. It's Starting To Get Complicated

**Author's Note: **Thanks to all you beautiful people who reviewed. As a reward, here is a slightly longer chapter, so enjoy and **review **some more when you're finished!

**You Are What You Is**

**Chapter 4: It's Starting To Get Complicated**

Kurt had a lot on his mind. He had school, cherrios, and glee. He had a sick dad at home and a new almost brother and almost mom. All of this wasn't to mention helping his dad out at his shop, and being horribly bullied by a sweaty Neanderthal who will remain nameless.

But for some unknown reason, all he could think about was Noah Puckerman.

Kurt blamed his fixation on the events of this morning. He thought about Puck's carefully controlled expression, but obviously distressed body language as they drove to the school.

Was it the insults his mother had easily hurled at him that had him so bothered, or was it that Kurt was there to hear them?

And why couldn't Kurt stop thinking about it? The revelation of Puck's verbally abusive mother did wonders to explain his dysfunctional personality. It seemed like easy ammunition to torture Puck with, but for some reason all Kurt could do was feel pity for the other boy.

"Hey Kurt, wait up!" Finn called as he fell into step with Kurt, pulling him from his deep thoughts. "Dude, it's all over school."

Kurt wrinkled his forehead, "What's all over school Finn?" He asked a bit exasperated. Finn was always slow to get to the point.

"That you and Puck came to school together." His spoke low and somewhat accusatory.

Kurt blinked several times as he turned down another hall and toward his locker. He definitely wasn't about to tell Finn about the bizarre body guard arrangement he was forced to enter into with Puck. Not only was it horribly embarrassing, but it would also lead to questions which answers Kurt did not want him knowing. Hell, he didn't even want Puck knowing. "You're acting like this is a matter of national security." Kurt replied crisply. "Puck just gave a fellow team mate a ride. And I seriously doubt the entire school knows about it."

"Well…no." He admitted. "But Rachel saw you guys and she told pretty much the entire glee club." Then he added. "And I don't understand why you didn't tell me about this."

Stupid, annoying, tragically dressed Rachel. "Gee Finn, maybe it's because I knew you would react like this."

He apparently decided to ignore that sarcastic statement. "It's just that people kind of think that…you know."

"No Finn. No I don't." Kurt replied glancing at him sternly as he neatly put his armload of books in his locker. "What is it that people, or rather, a handful of glee members think?"

"They think that you turned him-!" But he cut himself off when Kurt turned to him, and gave him a look of angered bewilderment. "…Or something." he added lamely. At least he had the sense to look mildly ashamed about what he had just said.

"_Turned him_? You can't be serious. Someone can't be _turned_ gay."

Finn nodded. "Yeah, _I _know that-"

"I really don't think you do Finn." Kurt cut him off because he really was about two ignorant comments away from throwing a total bitch fit.

"It's just not fair for you to play with a person's reputation like this." Finn said and Kurt had to marvel that Finn's tone of voice could still sound like he was trying to be all nice and helpful when the words coming out of his mouth were anything but. "Puck's my friend Kurt. I'm trying to protect him."

Kurt has to visibly calm himself at that. This was like the Sam duet incident all over again. Except this time Kurt couldn't call off this ridiculous arrangement even if he wanted to. Which he most certainly did. "You do know that your character development is set back miles every time you have one of your badly timed outbursts of homophobia?"

Finn blinked stupidly in response.

Kurt turned back to his locker, coolly checking his appearance in the mirror. "What I mean is," He spoke gently as he shut the door. "Fuck off."

He walked around a shocked Finn feeling quite pleased with himself. That was the first conversation he had in days that ended exactly his way.

He headed down the stairs, intending to meet up with Mercedes before glee as was their unspoken tradition. As his foot made contact with the last step however, he was grabbed from behind.

He thrashed about in earnest, feeling like a rag doll as the strong hands around his waist picked him off the ground and practically carried him under the stairwell.

He was pushed into the wall face first, "What the hell do you think you're doing!" He yelled, as the hands loosened their grip, and he whirled around as soon as he was able, only to come face to face (or face to chest rather) with Dave Karofsky.

"Miss me?" The larger boy asked with a smug smile on his face.

Horrible fear gripped Kurt as soon as he laid eyes on him. He felt his chest tighten and his breath quicken. In a desperate attempt he tried to run past Karofsky, but the other boy simply pushed him back into the wall deftly, as easy for him as swatting at a fly. "I don't want you near me." He managed to force the words through his lips as he pressed himself into the wall, trying to get further away.

Dave didn't say anything, and somehow that silence made it worse. He ever so slowly lifted his hand and with one slightly raised finger, stroked Kurt's cheek.

The action sent a violent and uncontrollable shiver through him. The finger slowly descended down his throat, and to his chest. It wasn't till the finger hooked on the end of his v neck that Kurt had the presence of mind to slap it away.

Karofsky made a small amused sound. "Don't freak out okay? I just want to ask you a question."

Kurt wanted to yell. To scream at him that he didn't care what the fuck kind of question he had. He just wanted to leave. Didn't anyone see Karofsky grab him? Could anyone hear him if he yelled for help?

Another question came to mind, and somehow it made him feel more helpless than he already did. _Where was Puck?_

Wasn't that the entire point of this whole fucked up situation he was in? Wasn't Puck supposed to stop something like this from happening? Wasn't Puck supposed to save him?

"Did you tell anyone?" Karofsky asked, pulling him from his distressing thoughts. Kurt stayed silent so he asked again. "Did you tell anyone what happened?"

It took Kurt a moment but he shook his head. Karofsky kept waiting though so Kurt again forced words to come out of his shaking lips. "No, I didn't... I wouldn't."

Dave nodded slowly. "Good." He said satisfied. "Because if you ever do…I'm going to kill you."

And with that, he was gone.

Kurt slid down the wall as soon as the boy was out of sight, his parting words echoing in his head. No-they were more than words. They were a promise.

He sat there for several minutes, just focusing on his breathing. Slowly, the tense muscles in his body began to unwind, and the pounding of his heart slowed enough so that he could think straight. He touched his face, expecting to find tears there but there were none.

Checking his Gucci watch he realized that he was late for glee. He stood on shaky legs, dusting himself off and making sure his hat was on just the right way, before walking with his head held high to the choir room

* * *

"Okay, so I've changed the choreography just a little bit on this number to make some of the moves more cohesive-" Mr. Shue stopped as he heard the door to the choir room open. "Kurt, your twenty minutes late." He said in his best authority voice, not even bothering to look behind him.

"Sorry Mr. Shue, I had a fashion emergency to attend to." Kurt said cheerily as he walked past his teacher. He paused briefly when he saw that the only available seat was between Puck and Mercedes. Puck was _really_ starting to get on his nerves. "Not to mention I'm having an embarrassingly bad hair day."

"Don't know what you're talking about boy. You look hot." Mercedes gave him a high five when he seated himself, angling his body away from a certain Mohawked boy.

"A hot mess maybe." Kurt replied matter-of-factly.

"Don't let it happen again Kurt." Will butted in. "With sectionals just around the corner, we're all going to have to be a lot more committed…"

Kurt tried to ignore that he could feel Puck leaning in to speak to him. "Dude, I looked everywhere for you. Were you trying to give me the slip?"

Kurt mentally cursed himself as he remembered that he was supposed to meet Noah by the upstairs bathrooms before he came down to glee. "Sorry Puck, like I said-fashion emergency." He went back to trying to listen to the new choreography as Puck leaned back in his chair with an annoyed sound, but Mercedes leaned in to replace him.

"So…What's going on with you and Puck?" Wow, not even a seque.

"Clearly, the rumors have gotten to you too."

"I don't believe a word of them." He could hear the smile in her voice. "But can you blame me for being just a little curious?"

No, he really couldn't. Kurt paused for a few moments, thinking hard. He wanted to tell Mercedes the truth. After all, if there was one person on this planet he could tell the entire story to (even the parts Puck didn't know about) it was Mercedes. But what would she think of him? She'd probably never look at him the same way again. Her sympathetic heart would only see him as a victim from the moment the truth came out for the rest so of their lives.

Okay. Kurt would be the first to admit that that was a little bit dramatic. Maybe even a lot a bit. But at this point he'd pick any excuse he could find not to tell anyone.

With purely selfish intent, he chose his next words carefully. "Really Cedes, there isn't a thing for you to be curious about. You know how rumors spread through this school-especially glee club-more especially when they are started by a one Rachel Berry."

Mr. Shue commanded them all out of their seats to practice the routine. Kurt didn't look over at his friend to see if his misdirection worked, and he busied himself with the task of pretending that nothing at all, was wrong.

* * *

For probably the first time ever, Kurt was happy when glee practice was over. He wanted nothing more than to go home and crawl into his bed. He could feign exhaustion and even get Finn out of their room for a little while to take a nice relaxing nap. Before that was to be accomplished however, he had to endure another car ride with Noah Puckerman.

Kurt did feel guilty for thinking that Puck should have been there when Karofsky ambushed him today. After all, if he had met Puck where he was supposed to, it never would have happened. Just another thing to add to the list of careless mistakes made by

Kurt Hummel.

"Puck?" Kurt asked gently as they pulled out of the high school's parking lot.

"Hm?" Puck grunted in reply.

Kurt thought for a moment before answering. He was starting to look at this predicament in a different way… He reckoned since the only other option was moving to Canada and changing his name, that having Puck as his bodyguard was the lesser of two evils. And for the two more weeks they were stuck together, Kurt decided he might as well get to know Puck. "I'm sorry about this morning."

He watched as Puck's knuckles turned white on the steering wheel. He expected him to yell at him for the sympathy, but instead he spoke so quietly Kurt had to strain to hear. "It's not like it's your fault."

And in the surprisingly comfortable silence that followed Puck's whispered statement Kurt realized that he was starting to make a friend.

An obnoxious, slightly homophobic, egotistical and, badly dressed friend. But a friend.


	5. A Day In The Life Of

**Author's Note: **Wow! This is the longest it's taken me to update the story and I apologize! But I have a very good excuse. It was the holidays which means I was partying which means I got behind on my school work which means I got behind on my writing. Things should go more smoothly now that the holidays are over.

I have a serious **angst warning **for this chapter. This chapter wasn't really planned, but I like the way it fits in with the story, and I liked the idea of having a Puck centric chapter. And all you people who keep story alerting and adding me to favorites thank you! But it's the **reviews **that keep my going. So drop me a line to tell me what you think!

**You Are What You Is**

**Chapter Five: A Day In The Life Of…**

The next morning, Puck lay in his bed after a sleepless night; He never slept well when he slept at home, and he had watched patiently as the sun rose, waiting for his alarm to ring so he would know when to get ready to pick up Kurt.

_Pick up Kurt._

Last week, such a thing would have been unthinkable. It was amazing the amount of things in his life that had changed in such a short amount of time. Though Tuesday was just two days ago, it seemed like a lot longer than that that Puck had witnessed Kurt's brief meltdown in the locker room. One minute he had been on his way to a cig break, and the next thing he knew he had become the self appointed body guard of Kurt Hummel: the Fairy Queen of all things Fabulous.

In some ways, this arrangement was also a lot more complicated than Puck had thought it would be. Rumors were flying around the glee club, and it was only a matter of time before the rest of the school noticed that Puck was following around Kurt. He supposed it didn't _really _matter though. In less than two weeks he'd be free of his community service and the rumors that came with it.

But the arrangement was also easier in some ways. He thought he might have to kick a lot of ass (after all, Kurt was an easy target) But so far no one had tried to mess with the kid at all, obviously all the usual bullies were too afraid to do so while Puck was shadowing him. And getting along with Kurt was actually not all that hard either. He found that although Kurt's gay shined so brightly he was hard to look at, Kurt himself wasn't that bad of a guy.

Puck was pulled with a start from his thoughts as his door was violently thrown open, and his mother marched in, heading straight for his dresser.

"Mom?" Puck said startled, he sat up in bed, his head was a little too drowsy to comprehend what was going on.

She was mumbling quickly under her breath-the words too quiet and fast for him to make out, and while she was rummaging through his dresser drawers, she threw random articles of clothing across the room. Suddenly, she pulled out one of the smaller drawers completely and threw it into the wall above his bed.

"What the _fuck?" _He yelled as he jumped to his feet, narrowly avoiding getting hit.

His mother turned and glared at him, "Don't curse at me Noah!" And she pushed him to the side as she made her way to his closet. He took a few steps back, not really because there was any force behind the push, but because he knew it was better to stay out of her way.

She yanked open his closet doors, and kicking away some of the dirty laundry that fell out, she continued throwing clothes, sticking her hands in the pockets of his shirts and pants.

"What are you looking for?" He asked, suspicious.

"What do you think?" She snapped, now rummaging through the shelves in the closet.

Puck rolled his eyes. "I don't have any booze, or weed, or pills, or anything else you can get your fix off of."

Her hand suddenly reached out and snatched his jacket which was lying on the floor next to the closet; she fished her hand inside pulling out his wallet and the money within. He kept his mouth firmly shut as she pocketed the forty bucks.

"I _know_ you have more than this." His mom said, her eyes wild. "How much are you charging these days? It's gotta be more than forty. There's no way that you're _that _cheap." She slammed the closet door shut as she spoke, and started toward his bedside table. He held his breath as her hand tugged uselessly on the locked drawer. She turned around, stepping uncomfortably close to him. He stood his ground staring down at her dead on.

"Open it." She said firmly. He swallowed hard, and looked away because her eyes were unsettling him. She slapped him hard across the face, and he staggered slightly; it _hurt._

"Noah?" A small voice asked and his little sister poked her head in the door.

"Open it!" His mom was practically screaming now, and he was suddenly aware that his alarm was going off. He wasn't sure for how long it had been.

"Go to your room _right now!"_ He snapped at his sister with enough authority to get her to leave, though she glared and flipped him off as she did. He stomped to the bedside table and reached behind it, grabbing the key taped there. He swiftly opened the drawer and pulled out the wad of cash hidden inside.

When he turned around, his mom was holding out her hand calmly, the look on her face was smug. He resisted the urge to throw it at her. He felt like screaming at her. Hitting her. Crying. But instead he placed the money, almost five hundred dollars, in her hand. He watched with sinking horror as she wrapped her thin fingers around it.

"Don't-" Puck said quietly looking down and away. "Don't take it all… I-It's mine, I earned it."

His mom shook her head. "That's where you're wrong. This money belongs to _me." _She pointed at herself with the wad of cash. "I've warned you to stop this-"

"Mom-"

She spoke over him. "I've told you time and time again-_"_ She stopped for a moment to make a show of composing herself, tears welling in her eyes. "You're unholy." She swallowed hard, looking completely broken, and hurt. She played the victim role so well it was scary. "A slut. And I don't want you in this house anymore."

The weight of those words crashed down on him, echoing in his head like a bad fade-out. _I don't want you._

"Mom…" He croaked uselessly, unable to stop a few tears from falling.

"I mean it Noah." And there was no doubt in his mind that she did. "Don't come back here."

She turned around and slammed his bedroom door.

In the empty room, he allowed himself a moment of shock. He felt most of all the loss of his money, which had been his security blanket; his way out. Now he was being forced out with nothing, and he honestly didn't know what to do.

He got a grip on himself as quickly as he could, angrily wiping the tears that dared to fall. Taking a few deep breaths in time with the beeping of his alarm, he reminded himself that he could start over. He had before.

* * *

If the start to his morning hadn't been enough of a hint, the words that Kurt spoke to him after slamming the door to his truck proved that this was going to be a horrible day.

"You look awful."

"Go to hell." Puck said as he they sped away from the Hummel house.

Kurt frowned at the lack of hostility in his voice. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning." He grumbled crossing his arms over his chest. "You won't have to drive me home today by the way," Kurt flipped down the passenger mirror to fix his perfect hair. "Mercedes and I are going shopping."

"Right, okay." Puck replied eloquently, reaching over to his glove compartment. With a sharp intake of breath, Kurt cringed back from Puck's arm, pressing himself into his seat. Puck paused at the look of fear that fluttered across the soprano's face. "You okay?" Puck asked, and he surprised himself, because he hadn't realized he actually cared.

Kurt was already composing himself, shooting Puck an accusatory look, "Are you?"

Puck had to laugh at that, and he continued his earlier task of fishing his pack of cigarettes out of the glove compartment. "Fair enough." He said with a shrug as he cracked the window.

"I assume you know that cigarettes can cause wrinkles, _and_ yellow teeth. Not to mention the _smell_." Kurt made a show of placing his cashmere scarf over his nose and mouth when Puck lit his cigarette.

The smoke relaxed him some, easing away his earlier frustration at his bad morning. "Most people are more concerned about the lung cancer and the, you know, _dying_."

Kurt scoffed. "You clearly have no regard for your physical appearance, your future health, or the health of others. Second hand kills you know."

Kurt's superior tone was undoing the relaxing effects of his morning cig. He didn't reply though, focusing on the road.

Kurt took a moment to observe Puck's posture. His body language was displaying the same kind of anger that it had yesterday morning. But on top of the anger was exhaustion, clear under his eyes, and defeat, which was displayed in the detached expression on his face. "What is wrong with you today?" He blurted out before he could stop himself.

Puck took a long drag of his cig to stall, blowing smoke out the crack in the window. "Woke up on the wrong side of the bed." He said simply, and turned up the radio to avoid further discussion.

* * *

Puck never wanted to go home; he never knew what kind of mood his mom was going to be in. He never understood what he was suppose to do to reach out to his sister who was often as angry and unpredictable as him mom was.

But as Puck drove around aimlessly after school, he wanted nothing more than the option to go home.

He thought about the people that he could call. Finn made the most sense, but he would demand answers and there was no way he could look him in the face and tell him what had happened. Not to mention Finn's living situation right now; the Hummel/Hudson house was packed enough as it was-they didn't need Puck taking up space even for a night. Santana had snuck him into her room a couple of times, and she never asked questions. But she was still giving him the cold shoulder.

He was starting to get hungry, and he realized that he had one, very convenient option open to him; though he knew it was one of the worse possible things he could do to himself right now.

Her name was Alice Lawson, she lived in a nice spacious house in suburbia, with her two kids and husband. Her husband, ironically enough, was David Lawson a lawyer who worked in the city, and often took long business trips away from home. Puck had found a text from Alice when he got his phone back after getting out of juvie. It was from Saturday, and it said that her husband was on one of those business trips till the end of the month.

As his mother had figured out, it wasn't a rare occurrence for Puck to trade sex for money. Even if he did occasionally clean a pool, it was obvious that his business was a sham. It also wasn't rare for him to trade sex for simply a place to spend the night.

He parked outside of Alice's house, and dialed her number.

It didn't take long to arrange, she told him that she would text him after her kids were asleep. Puck could tell she was happy-ecstatic even.

He resisted the overwhelming urge to feel guilty. This was the exact reason he had just gotten kicked out of his house. Wasn't this where he was supposed to learn the errors of his ways?

He pushed away the emotion as he received the 'all clear' text from Alice. Now wasn't the time to wallow in his self pity, or have a sudden change of heart. It wasn't like he hadn't done what he was about to do countless times before.

After all, this was just another day in the life of Noah Puckerman.


	6. Of Normalcy and Tragedy

**Author's Note: **THANK YOU, to all of you who **reviewed**. All your comments make me feel really good about this story which I wasn't sure was going to come across as good at all.

This took me much longer to update then I had intended. I worked on this chapter pretty much every day since I posted the last one it's just that it was very hard for me to write. But on the plus side it's the longest chapter yet, but here's the **warning! This chapter is intense and sad and might make you hate me.** I certainly hope not though, so on with the show! Oh and you there reading this author's note, you better **review**, because it lets me know what I'm doing right, and what I'm doing wrong.

**You Are What You Is**

**Chapter 6: Of Normalcy and Tragedy**

Puck woke surprisingly well rested, and pondered the fact that for him, an unfamiliar ceiling was a familiar sight.

He sat up in the bed, shaking as the cool air hit his bare skin. Stumbling sleepily around the room he gathered his clothes which were scattered everywhere, and stuffed them into his gym bag, where he had a handful of clean clothes he remembered to grab before leaving yesterday. As he was getting dressed he noticed Alice start to stir. He sat himself on the bed with his back toward her, putting on his socks and shoes.

"Good morning." She sighed sleepily, rolling over to face him.

Puck smiled on impulse. "Morning." He glanced back at her; she looked impossibly comfortable in the king sized bed, surrounded by pillows and wearing nothing at all under the red down comforter.

"Leaving so soon?" She asked with a frown in her voice.

"I got school."

"God…" She said stretching. "I always forget you're still in high school."

Puck smiled at that, tying off his shoe. "That's because I'm a stud babe." He stood walking towards the door, "I'll see you around."

"Before you go," She stopped him right before he opened the door. "Take the fifty that's in my purse."

His eyes zeroed in on the purse which sat on the dresser. He felt every muscle in his body freeze, and he stood there for a moment like a deer in headlights.

"I know it's not much, but I'll have more if you come back tonight." Alice said suggestively.

He shook his head, moving to the purse. "No, no. This is fine." He pocked the money before he could change his mind. "See you tonight."

* * *

Study hall had to be the best part of Kurt's day (besides from glee of course) he got to catch up on his school work and relax because at this time of day Karofsky had gym on the other side of the school. He had his own table in the back of the library next to a big window, which soaked his books in sun.

Though Kurt hated to admit it, Karofsky's threat on his life was getting to him. Every day he woke terrified to go to school. He jumped every time a locker slammed, and flinched every time he turned a corner. He found himself ducking into empty classrooms when he did see Dave walking down the hall towards him. He felt sick all the time, and a part of him wished that Karofsky would just get it over with already…

Another thing he didn't particularly like admitting was how thankful he was for Puck's presence. His body guard did do a good job of warding off the bullies- his reputation of a badass juvie ruler was one of the many rumors floating around the school. Some of these rumors were really starting to become a problem though. Like the ones that claimed him and Puck were suddenly in some kind of secret big gay relationship. He had had to walk on eggshells when he went shopping with Mercedes yesterday, expertly avoiding her questions about what exactly it was that was going on between him and Puck. Kurt could now add _alienating best friend _on his growing list of things to worry about.

Kurt nearly jumped out of his skin when the chair across from him was yanked from the table, and Puck sat down grumpily. He let out a breath to relax himself, trying to look nonchalant as he pulled out his ear buds.

"You aren't having your usual math class nap?" He continued working on his history homework, answering questions on Confucianism.

Puck shrugged. "Some freshman is throwing up in the Nurse's office. I think she has the flu or something."

Kurt nodded. "So of course instead of attending your class, you decided to come bother me in study hall." He delicately turned the page in his text book.

"Yep." Puck replied simply, putting his feet up on the table. Kurt cringed as it upset his papers but continued trying his best to ignore Puck.

The silence stretched on, and Kurt couldn't help it if his thoughts and eyes wandered to the boy sitting across from him. He suddenly realized that he was looking at Puck for the first time that day. It was a little shocking, and Kurt felt guilty for thinking about himself so much because Puck looked every bit as miserable as Kurt felt.

"Wake up on the wrong side of the bed again?" He asked, surprising himself at how gentle his own voice was.

For some reason that made Puck laugh. "Not exactly. It was just…a long night."

"Did you…" Kurt paused not sure if he really wanted to ask. "Did you fight with your mom?"

Puck's crossed his arms adopting a closed-off expression. "Mind your own business."

Kurt's impulse was to get angry, but he recognized that Puck was just lashing out. "I was just trying to be nice." Puck didn't reply, instead he looked down and away. "You know… people are starting to talk."

"Yeah? About what?"

"You, mostly. You ruled juvie with an iron fist after you got sent there for driving _into _a convenience store and stealing an ATM machine… Then the day you get back you start shadowing the school fag, not to mention the baby/Quinn drama and you being one of the handful of jocks to join the glee club last year. You're a fascinating topic recently."

Puck snorted, "What can I say? I'm a fascinating guy."

Kurt tapped him pencil on his open book. "It doesn't bother you then? That some people think me and you are-"

"Damn straight it bothers me, twinkle toes!" Puck interrupted in a whispered yell, (they were in a library after all.) "But you're just my community service. It won't be long before everything goes back to normal." He finished firmly, to convince himself. If Kurt noticed, he didn't say anything.

"Normal…" Kurt trailed off thinking of the events of the recent days. Then he looked at Puck again, and how shattered he looked. He found himself worried over what it could be that was troubling him, and he wished very much that he could reach out to him. This strong sense of loyalty that overwhelmed him while looking at the other boy was surprising, and most decidedly not normal.

Puck gave a half-hearted smile, an expression that looked out of place on his face. "Three days down."

Kurt smiled thinly back, "Without incident, I might add." And he looked down at his homework to cover up the lie.

If Puck noticed, he didn't say anything.

* * *

That day football practice was being held, so instead of hitching a ride with Mercedes and all her nagging questions, Kurt decided he was going stay behind and practice singing and dancing in the choir room. The glee club was working on yet another Journey song, and Kurt found one part in particular challenging. He just couldn't seem to get his feet to _move_ right.

It must have been because he was concentrating so hard on the dance moves that he didn't notice Karofsky walk into the room until the music abruptly stopped.

Kurt was in the middle of a sliding side step, and he looked up alarmed, stumbling ungracefully over himself to regain balance.

Karofsky was leaning up against the piano, spinning the CD around his finger. "_Journey?" _He asked with his eyes focused on the gleaming object._ "_And homo explosion just keeps getting gayer."

Kurt wiped the sweat from his forehead, breathing hard from his practice and from the fear of being in the same room as the hockey player. Karofsky set the CD gently down on the shining surface of the piano. "Do you want to hear something funny, Kurt?"

Kurt swallowed hard, the use of his first name sending a shiver down his spine. "I don't suppose I have a choice." He forced out and was proud when his voice didn't shake too much. But it was true; he didn't have a choice. Karofsky was the halfway point between him and the door, there was no way he could escape in time.

Dave smiled. "It's about Puckerman." Kurt's head snapped up. "See now _that_ got your attention." He chuckled. "He's been going around telling everyone that you're his community service or some shit. He's getting some kind of power trip over protecting_ you._"

He started walking forward menacingly, and Kurt hadn't realized he was stepping away from him until his heels hit the first rise where the chairs were. "I don't see why that's funny." And Karofsky was just inches away now.

"Because he can't protect you from me."

As soon as Karofsky finished speaking, Kurt closed the distance between them and kneed him as hard as he could in the groin. He fell to the side cursing loudly and Kurt made a mad dash for the door.

Apparently Dave had the ability to recover faster than Kurt could run, and he found himself being pushed forward hard into the piano. The keys made a comic sound as his right arm slid across them, his forehead smacking painfully off the piano bench. Before Kurt could recover, he was being pressed into the ground, Karofsky straddling his waist.

"Get off of me!" He pleaded on instinct, trying to hit, scratch, or hurt Dave in any way he could, but instead Dave just easily grabbed both of his wrists in one hand, pinning them above his head. The position left him feeling unimaginably exposed, the full weight of Dave making it difficult to move at all. He strained against the hands holding his own, he flailed his legs uselessly. His heart was beating faster than he thought possible as he realized that he wasn't going anywhere.

"Just calm down, okay?" Karofsky snapped and carefully stroked his cheek trailing his hand down to his ascot; he untied it and threw it carelessly behind him. He stared down at Kurt for a moment, the look in his eyes was animalistic as he leaned down and began sucking on Kurt's neck.

Kurt felt the tears fall out of his eyes. "Stop…" he uttered struggling against the hold, trying desperately to pull away as Karofsky's free hand grabbed a fistful of his hair and held his head in place as he kissed his lips harshly.

Then without warning, Karofsky's fist smashed into his face. It was harder than he'd ever been punched before and for a moment all he saw was stars.

He was dazed long enough for his shirt to be pulled over his head, and his hands to be pinned back down.

Kurt closed his eyes tightly, trying to imagine he was anywhere but here. He didn't want to be the pathetic person who let this happen. He didn't want to succumb to the tragic fate of the social outcast being constantly taunted by his peers. Kurt Hummel's story was no longer going to be a cautionary tale; It was about to become a tragedy.

Meanwhile Karofsky was making good use of his free hand; sliding it up Kurt's inner thigh, covering Kurt's mouth when he moved his chapped lips to kiss the smaller boy's neck, once even biting his collar bone so hard he screamed against Dave's rough hand. He could feel the blood trickle down his bare chest.

He felt Karofsky start to grind against him, and that calloused hand moved down Kurt's bare chest, to the top of his jeans…

* * *

Puck was sitting on the locker room bench breathing hard, his team mates were getting dressed around him, while he was already dressed in a loose tank top and gym shorts. Coach Beiste was like a slave driver compared to Ken Tanaka, who spent more time eating meatball subs than he did watching their games. Practice had started to become a lot harder than it used to be, but if it meant they started to win then that was fine with him.

He sighed and checked his watch. He knew that Kurt was waiting for him in the choir room, and he was already about five minutes late. He slung his gym bag over his shoulder and started on the familiar path from the locker rooms to the choir room.

A year ago he never would have thought that he'd be stuck between his love of football and singing in a glee club. He had never wanted to be associated with anything _gay_ before, let along wear make-up and costumes to sing on a stage with a bunch of divas and drama queens. But as he found out more and more, life had a funny way of throwing the unexpected at him.

Like when he opened the door to the choir room to find Dave Karofsky pinning Hummel to the floor.

He didn't stop to take in the scene anymore than that. He dropped his gym bag and ran forward pulling Dave to his feet and practically _throwing _him towards the door. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kurt scramble to an upright position leaning against the piano leg, but Puck was too focused on Karofsky, who was rising to hit feet, to tend to Kurt at the moment. Puck launched at him again, punching him as hard as he could in the cheek, which would have been more satisfying if his hand didn't throb from pain on impact. Karofsky stumbled though, and Puck took the opportunity to punch him again, this time in the gut. Now _that_ was satisfying, because it caused Karofsky to double over in pain, and then let out a kind of frustrated growl. Lunging forward he attacked Puck.

He was able to block the first punch, but not the second which collided with the left side of his jaw. He stumbled back and narrowly avoided falling onto the piano bench, side stepping just in time to avoid another punch. Then he was caught by surprise as Karofsky kicked out his legs from under him. He fell dazed to the floor, and for a minute was stunned, but he regained himself when he saw Karofsky fleeing towards the door.

"Noah." He was in a half crouch ready to launch himself forward when he heard Kurt say his name. It was horribly broken and quiet, but he somehow heard it, and it made his heart stop momentarily. He turned to Kurt and was a little surprised to notice they were just a few feet from each other. But as he looked for the first time upon entering the room at the boy in front of him, he felt his own body slump down from his half standing position in shock.

Kurt was crying, tears freely streaming down his face from terrified eyes. The right side of his cheek was bruising and there was a bleeding cut on his forehead. But what really made Puck's stomach turn was the fact that Kurt wasn't wearing a shirt. There was another thin stream of blood falling down his bare chest from…a bite mark on his collar bone.

Still breathing hard from the fight, Puck spoke breathlessly; "What the hell just happened?"


	7. Confessions

**Author's Note: **Wow! Last chapter was my most reviewed chapter yet! I'm glad you all enjoyed it. Thank you to the people who story alerted and favorited this too. You all make me smile, you really do! So here's a chapter with LOTS of dialogue, and angst as your reward. Don't forget to **review **and tell me what you think!

**You Are What You is**

**Chapter 6: Confessions**

The silence that fell over the choir room was strangely deafening. So much so that Kurt had the desire to rise his shaking hands to cover his ears, but he kept himself from doing so instead concentrating on his breathing. And why was it so hard to breath anyways? He felt his skin get unbearably warm and his chest tighten. His hands were still shaking.

"Fuck." Puck cursed, scooting just a little bit closer to Kurt. "Dude, you gotta breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth alright?"

"Don't….call-" Kurt began, though he was following Puck's advice, "…me dude."

Puck was hardly listening though, as soon as he realized that Kurt was getting the hand of his breathing he stood, making his way to the door.

"W-where are you going?" Kurt asked.

"Where do you think I'm going? I'm going to kill him."

The venom in his voice gave Kurt very little doubt that he was telling the truth. "No, you're not." He said rising to his feet.

Puck was becoming livid. "And why the hell not?"

"As much as you might want to think that hurting Karofsky is some twisted way for you to defend my honor, violence doesn't actually solve anything-"

"Don't you dare get up on your fucking high horse Hummel! Take a look at yourself and then tell me if you still want me to let the bastard go!"

Kurt was shaking his head. "You could get kicked out of school, is that what _you_ want?"

The words put a noticeable crack in Puck's resolve, so he pressed further. "You'll get sent back to juvie."

There was a slight pause after Kurt's statement than Puck let out a frustrated growl and punched the wall as hard as he could.

"This is so fucked up!" He yelled, not even noticing when his fist left an indentation in the wall, or when blood started to trickle from his split knuckle.

"You're scaring me." Kurt said truthfully, wrapping his arms around his bare chest.

Puck sighed, closing his eyes briefly to pull himself together. Karofsky was long gone by now anyways, and throwing a temper tantrum would only do to upset Kurt further. He decided firmly that this was the last thing he wanted to do. In fact, looking at Kurt's bruised and tear stained face, he knew this was the exact opposite of what he wanted to do. He wanted to fix Kurt.

Kurt was still standing next to the piano, his bottom lip captured between his teeth, looking like he was trying to go invisible. Puck walked across the room and grabbed

Kurt's shirt off the ground. Approaching Kurt carefully he held it out to him.

"I'm sorry." Puck said quietly, because it seemed like the most appropriate thing to say given the situation.

Kurt reached out a shaking hand and took the shirt, but didn't put it on. "I'll get blood on it…" He explained, suddenly looking ashamed.

Puck resisted the urge to laugh. "Only you." He said shaking his head, and making his way toward his discarded gym bag. He opened it up and found a dark colored T-shirt; he tossed it to Kurt who caught it with surprise.

Kurt had to stop himself from glaring at the cotton/polyester blend and dark color which _clearly_ did not compliment his skin tone. When he put the shirt on though, he found he didn't care how bad it looked on him. (and it did look horrendous.) Covering up his body made him feel much safer, and he allowed himself to relax a little.

"I want to go home." He told Puck as he wiped some of the wetness off his face with the back of his hand.

Puck nodded and before he even realized what he was doing, he held out his hand. Kurt took it with very little hesitation; their fingers lacing together with surprising ease.

* * *

Kurt hadn't said anything the entire car ride to his house. The silence worried Puck more than annoyed him, so when Kurt got out of his truck silently and marched toward his front door, it didn't take long for Puck to decide to follow him in.

Besides from the messy corner of the room that clearly belonged to Finn, Kurt's room was every bit as fabulous as Kurt himself. Everything was white and clean, and looked a little absurd to Puck who admittedly didn't know one damn thing about color palettes or anything really to do with interior design. Puck didn't understand why people like Kurt couldn't just put some furniture in a room and call it a day.

Presently, Puck sat himself down on a comfortable swiveling chair in front of a vanity. He turned the chair to watch curiously as Kurt carefully picked out a white button up shirt to wear, placing his shirt and ascot in a hamper. He stood next to his bed with his back turned to Puck as he changed. His hand ached horribly where he punched Karofsky, and the blood was drying from when he hit the wall.

"So uh…where's Finn?"

Kurt paused in his task briefly. His mind had been preoccupied by a series of what ifs. What if he had transferred to Dalton Academy after his failed attempt at spying on the Warblers? What if he never stopped returning Blaine's text messages four days earlier because of his shame over botching the other boy's advice? What if he went to a school where he was protected by a no bullying policy? A school that would expel kids like Karofsky on sight? What if Karofsky had never been born? What if Kurt had never been born? "He's staying at Rachel's tonight." He spoke, finally answering Puck's question.

Puck was too relived that Kurt spoke to stop to wonder how on earth Rachel got her dads to let Finn stay over. "Do you want me to call him?" Kurt glared at him intensely, and he looked kind of funny with his shirt only partly tucked in. "What about your dad?"

"What about my dad Puck?" Kurt said annoyed, tucking in the other half of his shirt.

"You need to tell him. Then he can get principle Figgins to expel Karofsky and-"

"And what?" Kurt snapped. "Live happily ever after?" He grabbed Puck's shirt which he had neatly folded and handed it to him. "Thank you for all your help. But I can handle it from here."

Puck looked down at the blood on his folded shirt. Kurt's blood. "Four days ago when all of this shit started…. Before I got to the locker room, what happened?"

"Puck-"

"Because you lied to me Kurt. Or you at least let me think what happened that day was a hell of a lot more innocent than it really was."

Kurt swallowed hard. "Go home Puck."

"Tell me what happened!" he yelled standing up from the seat.

"He kissed me! Are you happy now? He held me down and he kissed me." There where fresh tears falling from Kurt's eyes now, and he sat down on the edge of his bed. "It _hurt_. And it was terrifying and humiliating and ten thousand other things you can't even begin to imagine. So just go home, because I'm really not in any condition to be a good host right now." Kurt was wiping angrily at the tears as they fell. He didn't want to be crying in front of Puck _again_.

"Why didn't you tell me that?" Puck ran a hand through his mohawk. "Why didn't you tell anyone that? This isn't some stupid prank like being thrown in the dumpster or being pushed into a locker. We all could have protected you from him. We could have been like your secret service or something."

Kurt was regaining his composer slowly. "Because," he started shakily. "He said if I told anyone he'd kill me." He felt his face go red with shame as he spoke; he was hardly able to look at Puck.

"He said that?" Puck was starting to breathe heavier now, and Kurt gave one short nod, crossing his arms over his chest. "When?"

Kurt's entire body was shaking with repressed sobs, and it took him a moment to compose himself enough to speak. "Wednesday." He said through shaking lips. "That's why I was late for glee; he ambushed me under the stairs. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell anyone. I didn't want people to look at me like…"

Puck swallowed past the lump in his throat before he spoke. "Like what?" he asked.

He sniffed. "Like the way you're looking at me right now. Like I deserve to be pitied."

Puck plopped down on the bed so their backs where facing each other. "This is so fucked up!" He yelled in frustration for the second time that day. Maybe it was selfish of him, but he couldn't stop the feeling of blame from creeping up on him. He was the one who had wanted to protect Kurt, and he couldn't even do that right.

A few minutes of silence stretched on like this. Kurt sitting on his bed, across from Puck, who had his head lowered into his hands. After what seemed like hours, Puck spoke.

"How are you feeling?" He asked quietly, and neither one of them turned to look at each other.

Kurt wanted o laugh at him. "How do you think I'm feeling? Absolutely fucking wonderful." Puck cringed because he had never heard Kurt use such a tone before. "Really

Puck, there isn't anything else you can do for me, and you really look like you could use some sleep. Just go home."

Puck sighed, and focused his eyes on the spotless carpet as he spoke. "I can't."

Kurt was getting more and more annoyed. "Your sense of duty is really astounding, but at the moment unnesscessary and inconvenient. I don't need protection in my own home. I'll see you on Monday."

Puck shook his head. "I mean I literally can't go home." He took another deep breath before he spoke, dreading the words even as they left his mouth. "I got kicked out."

Kurt let out a small gasp of shock, and he turned to face Puck's back. "Your mother kicked you out?" Puck nodded, wincing. "When?"

"Yesterday morning." He replied after a moment, though he still didn't turn around to face Kurt.

Kurt felt something click in his head. The change he had noticed in Puck since yesterday morning and the clothes in his bag made a lot more sense now. "Where did you sleep last night?"

Puck shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal, "Some MILF's house."

He blinked in response, because there was something forced in the casualness of Puck's tone. He knew that just like him, Puck didn't want any sympathy, but he couldn't help saying what he said next. "You can stay here tonight."

Puck laughed. "Five seconds ago you were begging me to leave."

"That was different." Kurt said shrugging, his voice was still hoarse from crying.

"Why? Because now you pity me?" He replied in a mocking tone.

It didn't take Kurt long to respond. "So what if I do? You wouldn't have told me unless you needed somebody to care. And I…care." He finished awkwardly, blushing at the confession.

Finally, Puck turned around to face Kurt. In an echo of the earlier gesture, Kurt placed a hand on top of Puck's hand. He felt the dried blood against his fingers, but for some reason it didn't bother him.

Puck closed his eyes, feeling oddly comforted by the cool hand. "I can stay here tonight?" He asked. "Free of charge?"

For some reason they were both whispering, and it occurred to Kurt how close their bodies really where to each other. "Why would I charge you?"

Puck almost immediately felt stupid for asking. Kurt wasn't one of the bored housewives that Puck traded sexual favors with for a safe place to stay the night. Kurt actually cared about him.

"Our lives are really fucked up right now, aren't they?" Puck said softly bowing his head.

Kurt leaned his forehead against Puck's, and to his surprise instead of pulling away the other boy leaned into the gesture. He squeezed the hand under his own.

"Completely and irrevocably so."


	8. Knock On Wood

**Author's Note:** Thank you all for your wonderful reviews! I really do mean it when I say this story would not have continued with out your fantastic feedback. I'm sorry that this is late, and I have the bad news that I'm going out of town Friday and won't be back till the middle of the week. This means I'll have little or no time to update and that it might be over a week till the next chapter is posted. Again I'm really sorry.

This chapter is mostly filler, but it is important to the character building. Please **review**!

**You Are What You Is**

**Chapter 8: Knock On Wood**

The two boys stayed in that position longer than either of them would like to admit. Foreheads and hand pressed together, touching in an almost intimate way, but barely at all. Neither one of them wanted to break the contact because it was comforting which was something they both really needed. They didn't speak, half afraid that if they did it would break the strange blanket of comfort that had settled over them. Kurt was _still_ crying. Was it even possible for someone to have so many tears? Puck had shed a few of his own, but for some reason he wasn't ashamed of the wetness on his face.

The sound of someone clearing their throat loudly ripped that blanket from over them. They moved apart from one another as if electrocuted, Puck even stood up but froze in place when he saw the man that must be Kurt's father.

Burt's expression quickly changed to uncomfortable to angry and concerned. He saw the sight of his son; a bruise on his forehead and a black eye. "Kurt what the hell happened!" He demanded, suddenly in front of Kurt and lifting his chin so he could get a better look at the damage.

"Dad I'm okay-"

Burt was hardly listening; he was instead turning to Puck, an infuriated look on his face. "Who the hell are you? Did you do that to my son?" He accused, gesturing behind him at Kurt, who seemed more than a little annoyed.

Puck was still frozen, terrified of the man's clenched fists.

"_Dad_!" Kurt yelled stepping in between Burt and Puck. "Look at him! Does he look any better than I do right now?"

Burt did as he was told, surveying the tall mohawk wearing guy in front of him. He eyes zeroed in on a few key factors of the boy's appearance; a bruise along the jaw, bloody knuckles and his skilled parental eyes noticed tear stains on his face.

"Someone better start explaining what's going on here." Burt said his voice much softer than before. He unclenched his fists and tried to adopt a less threatening posture, mostly to sooth the Mohawked kid's nerves.

"There was…" Kurt began slowly. He realized that there was almost no way he could lie to get out of this situation. It was pretty obvious what had happened, but maybe he could find a way to give only part of the truth. "An altercation after school. Noah helped me out."

Puck gave Kurt a hard glance, which Kurt in turn ignored. But Burt caught the look.

"Altercation?" Burt said looking between both boys, not missing how they both avoided his gaze. "With who?"

"Dad, everything is fine now. It's been handled."

"Tell me who hurt you Kurt," Burt was starting to breathe heavier now, his fists clenching again.

Puck felt the urge to jump between them, but stopped himself remembering all the nice things Finn had said about Mr. Hummel. He wouldn't hurt Kurt, right?

"Please calm down." Kurt said resting a hand on Burt's shoulder, "You're sick, you know you can't let yourself get worked up like this."

"You're my son Kurt. No one is allowed to lay a hand on you." Burt said firmly, looking the very picture of a bear protecting its cub.

"It was David Karofsky."

Kurt's actually stomped his foot, "Puck!" he hissed.

Puck ignored him. "He jumped Kurt after school, I tried to beat the ever living shit out of the kid but he got away." Puck felt guilty for betraying Kurt like this. But he knew Kurt was formulating a lie, and he didn't want to give him the time to finish. It might mean Kurt wouldn't let him stay, but if it meant having something done about Karofsky then it was worth it.

"Is that true?" Burt asked Kurt who didn't say anything, but he knew his son well enough to know that that was a yes. "Has this kid, this-"

"Karofsky." Puck supplied helpfully, which earned him another glare from Kurt.

"Karofsky, do anything else to you?"

Noah was looking at Kurt again, and Kurt swallowed hard realizing again that he would have to choose his words carefully. "He's been…bothering me for a while now. I didn't want you to worry dad, you've been so sick…" He trailed off, purposefully redirecting the conversation toward his dad's health.

Burt shook his head. "When something like this happens you tell me, alright? Sick or not I'm still your dad and it's my job to protect _you_ not the other way around. Got it?"

Kurt hid his relief as he felt the conversation come to its end. He nodded mutely.

"I'm calling Principle Figgins tomorrow about this. I _will_ see that boy expelled."

It was Kurt's turn to shake his head. "Coach Sylvester is Principle right now. She's pure evil dad, she won't do anything about this."

"Well we'll see about that." Burt spat, disgusted. "You." Burt said turning to Puck, who stiffened nervously at the sudden attention. "Noah… Noah Puckerman? Finn's friend?" Puck nodded, only daring to move that little. "Thank you for helping my son." He held out his hand and Puck hesitated ever so slightly before shaking it. Burt placed both his hands on Noah's shaking it firmly. "Thank you." He repeated, and Puck was a little shocked at the gratefulness that came from his voice.

Kurt took that moment speak up. "Actually dad… can Noah stay here tonight?"

Burt nodded almost instantly. "Of course. You're welcome here any time." He was about to leave when he thought back to the position he had originally found the two boys in. In all the excitement he had forgotten that there seemed to be something more between them than friendship. But he really didn't feel like having a boyfriend talk with Kurt on top of all of the other stuff. "You can sleep on Finn's bed." He suggested just to be on the safe side.

When the two boys nodded he walked up the stairs and out of sight.

"Why the _hell_ did you do that?" Kurt snapped. "You had no right to tell him about Karofsky. You know very well that my dad is sick. Do you have any idea what stress could do to him?"

Puck put his hands up in a kind of surrender. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down. If I had it my way you're dad would have heard the entire story, and Karofsky would be dead. Getting him kicked out of school is a good compromise."

Kurt plopped down on his bed, covering his face with his hands. "Everyone's going to know." He said quietly. "Mercedes… The glee club… They'll never look at me the same way."

Puck didn't say anything. What could he say? He knew he wasn't good with this comfort thing.

Kurt was still speaking. "I'm ready for everything to go back to normal now."

Puck sat down next to Kurt. "I think if there's one thing we've learned today, it's that normal is the watchword."

Kurt laughed. "I guess you're right." He thought back to their earlier conversation in the library. "Thank you Puck, for stopping him." Puck looked over at Kurt surprised to find the other boy's eyes fixed on the far wall. "I had given up." Kurt spoke so quietly it was hard to hear him. "I shut down and I was going to let it happen." He blinked several times but there were no tears. He was pretty sure he had run out.

Puck looked at the broken boy in front of him. It's true that Puck had encountered a few risky sexual situations (the most terrifying being a moment with Mr. Ryerson the year before, but he preferred not to think about that.) but nothing was like what Kurt had experienced. He had always been the stronger one, he was always able to get away. Kurt wouldn't have been able to.

Puck spoke quietly. "It wasn't your fault."

Kurt snorted. "Please Puck don't turn this into Good Will Hunting." This was all getting a little to clichéd for him.

"I don't know what that means." He spoke after thinking hard for a moment. "I just wanted to say it because, y'know, it kind of seems like something you need to hear."

"And what about you? Whatever it was that happened between you and your mom wasn't your fault either. Yet it seems you're carrying guilt around enough for the both of us." Kurt countered, a little unkindly.

"You're trying to turn around the conversation, just like you did with your dad."

Kurt paused, because he hadn't realized that Puck would notice that. "I hate this Puck. These past couple days I've gone back and forth between hating you and needing you. I hate this day. Fuck my life."

Something about his tone shocked Puck, "Are you okay?" He asked and Kurt gave him an odd look. "Shit-that's a stupid question, I just mean; are you going to be okay?"

"I feel humiliated. I don't think it will ever go away." He wrapped his arms around his stomach. He had no more courage, and no more pride.

"I wish there was something I could say to make it go away." Puck said and even he knew the statement was a little too sentimental to be in character. "To make everything okay."

Kurt scooted closer to Puck, and ever so carefully leaned his head on the other boy's shoulder. Puck stiffened but didn't move. It was in that moment that Puck's phone started to ring and he fished it out of his short's pocket confused. It was already ten, late for most of his friends to be calling. He froze at the text that came up.

_I left the front door unlocked 4 you. Want you now. – Alice._

Since Kurt's head was still resting on Puck's shoulder he had a perfect view of the text, and it wasn't like Puck tried to hide it either. "Have some place to be?" Kurt asked with a smile in his voice.

Puck turned off his phone, placing it back in his pocket. "Mind your own Princess."

"You must be losing your touch. You've called me that twice this week."

"Yeah well." He offered by way of explanation.

"Alice…" Kurt thought out loud. "She's the MILF you stayed with last night?"

Puck shifted uncomfortably. "It's not something I really want to talk about."

Kurt nodded against his shoulder, because he understood that really well right now. "If you change your mind, I'll listen."

Kurt sounded perfectly honest and sincere. The statement meant enough to Puck that it caused him to pause. "I was worried when I told you're dad about Karofsky that you wouldn't let me stay."

Kurt closed his eyes. "I don't have the energy to care about Karofsky right now, or anything else for that matter. I just don't want to be alone right now. I want you to stay."

Another confession that made him blush ever so slightly.

"I want to stay too." And he wasn't sure why he said it, but he was pretty sure it was true.

* * *

It was decided, with no discussion at all, that Puck would sleep in Kurt's bed. And it wasn't long before the two of them had change, Kurt spending about a half hour moisturizing and being horrified by his own reflection.

"I look like I stepped out of an episode of SVU!" He exclaimed, frantically cleaning his cuts and applying Arnica gel to his bruises.

Presently, they lay back on the bed together, neither one of them bothering to get under the covers. Perhaps because they were both too exhausted or perhaps because they were both uncomfortable with the idea of being under them together.

Puck let his hand travel over the smooth surface of the down comforter. His fingertips touched the edge of Kurt's, and together they moved closer to each other, so their shoulder were just touching, and their fingers where lightly intertwined. Neither one of them looked at each other, and neither one of them pulled away. It was a long time before Puck spoke.

"This week sucked."

"It's not like it can get any worse."

Kurt regretted his words almost instantly, while Puck had the sudden urge to knock on wood. The weight of the statement seemed to settle over them in a mocking matter as they both fell into an uneasy sleep. Their sole comfort being that when they woke up, the other would be there.


	9. No Take Backs

Author's Note: Shit! It's been forever! Well I thank all you people who may or may not still be reading this! Please review! Oh also, I don't know if I'll actually do this, but I've been thinking of starting a LJ. If I did would anyone read it? Drop me a line and tell me what you think.

You Are What You Is

Chapter 9: No Take Backs

During the night Puck had rolled over on his side, using the crook of his arm as a pillow while Kurt curled into the warm body next to him, resting his forehead on Puck's chest. Puck's leg was sprawled across both of Kurt's, and neither one of them had woken up once during the night.

The two of them sound asleep, tangled in each other was the scene that Finn Hudson walked in on.

"What the hell!" He exclaimed eloquently.

Puck reacted on instinct, sitting up quickly looking for the source of the angry shout, while Kurt sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes and looking around confused.

"It's too early to be shouting." Kurt said groggily.

Finn stared at the two boys for a moment, anger rising inside of him. "What's wrong with you Kurt? You told me nothing was going on between you and him." He gestured wildly at Puck.

Kurt's tired mind strained to think of a snappy response, but Puck beat him to it standing up to put himself between Finn and Kurt.

"Shut it Hudson, you have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh I don't?" Finn's voice was rising as he closed some of the distance between them. "I know that both you and Kurt have a little trouble saying no."

Finn's words crashed through Kurt violently. Maybe if it wasn't for yesterday those words wouldn't be so devastating. He put a hand over his mouth to cover an involuntary sob.

Puck's approach was much more direct and satisfying: he punched Finn in the jaw.

"Puck!" Kurt yelled, and was between the two larger boys impossibly fast. He faced Finn, trying to stop him from retaliating against Puck, and Finn did stop short when he caught site of the bruises on Kurt's face. "What is your problem Finn? You're acting like a Neanderthal, and a child!"

"God Kurt what happened to you?" Finn was completely shocked.

Puck scoffed. "Now you stop to ask questions after you jumped to conclusions!" He took a half-step forward yelling over Kurt's shoulder. "While you where off screwing Berry, Kurt needed you!"

"Don't talk about Rachel like that!" Finn tried to shout over Puck's voice.

"He's needed you for weeks," Puck continued unfazed by the interruption. "But you've been too worried about your precious reputation to do a damn thing about it!"

"Stop pretending that you actually care about him Puckerman! Everyone knows that you're just using him for your community service. You use everyone to get what you want. You're fucking trailer trash!"

"That's enough!" Kurt yelled as loud as he could, grabbing hold of Puck's arm as he tried to take another swing at Finn. "Stop talking about me like I'm not in this room, and stop acting like prissy little bitches!"

"What is going on down here?" An angry Burt Hummel shouted as he charged down the stairs.

"It's nothing dad." Kurt said quickly letting go of Puck's arm. "Just a misunderstanding."

Burt looked hard the three boys. He could tell exactly what was going on just by looking at them. Kurt was trying to stop a fight, a position his son should not have been put in. "I don't want to have to ask anyone to leave." Burt started slowly, "But I think it's safe to say that Kurt's been put through enough fighting. Now I don't know what this is about, and I understand that boys will be boys, but there will be none of this fighting under my roof."

Kurt resisted the urge to roll his eyes, his dad could be such a … dad sometimes. Finn and Puck nodded mutely, clearly intimidated by Burt.

"Kurt, Noah, we have a meeting with the principle in an hour. Finn, you're mom will fill you in on what this is all about."

The three of them nodded, and Finn took the opportunity to storm out of the room.

"You feeling okay Kurt?" His son nodded in response, and Burt cast a questioning look at Noah who nodded too. "One hour." He repeated before leaving the two boys alone.

"You didn't have to hit him." Kurt said quietly when he heard Burt shut the door.

Puck blinked. "Did you hear what he said about you?" He asked, aghast.

"Me?" Kurt asked. "He said it about you too. He said worse about you."

Puck waved his hand dismissively. "It's not true about you." Puck said firmly. "You're not a whore, or someone who deserves to be talked to like that." Puck made a frustrated sound. "Damn! I wish I punched him hard enough to ruin that pretty boy face of his." He shook out his newly throbbing hand.

"Not true about me?" Kurt repeated slowly. "You don't deserve to be talked to like that either."

Puck looked away, not wanting to tell Kurt that he did deserve it. Then Kurt surprised him by stepping forward and grabbing his injured hand by the wrist. He froze completely, Kurt's cool fingers made him feel uncomfortable, and he couldn't help but feeling he was expected to give Kurt something more.

"You've done enough fighting over me." Kurt said after a quiet moment. "And you might think it's solving something but it's not. I think you'll find that your violence is only needlessly complicating matters."

"This is what you signed up for." Puck pulled his hand out of the other boy's grasp a little more roughly than he probably should have. He wasn't sure why Kurt made him feel so safe sometimes, while other times he managed to make him feel exactly the opposite.

Kurt was a little taken aback by the detachment Puck was suddenly showing, but he regained himself quickly. "Right." He said turning to busy himself with the task of finding an outfit to wear. "I suppose we should start to get ready."

* * *

Kurt and Puck where walking through the empty halls of the school, Burt marching in front of them, looking for blood.

Puck looked at Kurt and he noticed how the other boy's hands were shaking. "You nervous?" He asked softly.

Kurt licked his lips, "To sit in a room with the guy who attacked me yesterday? 'Course not." Puck flinched at Kurt's words. Why did he always manage to say the wrong thing?

They got to the office and Sue Sylvester opened the door after only a few seconds of waiting. "Come on in." She said gesturing inwards. Her voice was surprisingly calming.

As they walked Puck leaned over to Kurt and whispered. "I'll be right next to you."

"Just don't hit anyone." Kurt responded briskly brushing past him and through the door.

Dave Karofsky and a man whom they could only assume was his father were already sitting down. Kurt paused in the door briefly, suddenly feeling ever bruise on his body. Seeing Dave made his blood grow cold. He shook his head to clear it. This entire situation was starting to become a huge cliché. He took a deep breath, calming himself, taking control of himself. Karofsky wasn't going to have the pleasure of seeing him break down again. Kurt decided in that brief moment that he was the only one in charge of this situation.

Puck leaned against the wall by the door, glaring at Karofsky with enough venom to make him squirm. While Burt placed a hand on his son's shoulder guiding him to the couch opposite of the Karofskys. Sue leaned up against her desk.

"It seems this situation has reached a boiling point." Sue broke the silence with that same calming tone.

"It's well past that!" Burt snapped, sending a glare in Dave's direction.

Dave didn't hesitate to defend himself. "Nothing happened." He spoke with an honest tone that made Kurt feel sick.

"I'll tell you what happened." Burt continued almost over Dave. "Mr. Karofsky-"

"My name's Paul." The man interrupted though not unkindly.

"Paul." Burt said with a short nod. "You're son, physically assaulted my son."

Sue looked hard at Kurt, and then Noah. "Is that true?"

"Damn straight it's true!" Puck said pulling himself from the wall a little. "I had to pull his fat ass off my boy here."

"Puck…." Kurt said quietly while Paul looked more than a little bit shocked.

"Kurt, is that true?" Sue repeated the question a bit slower, Kurt in response gave one short nod, not trusting himself to speak.

"That's not true. I didn't do anything." Dave used a dismissive tone.

"That's exactly what he did." Kurt said in a fit of courage that surprised even him. "I have the bruises to prove it,"

"He's making this stuff up," Dave said, mostly to his dad.

"Oh is that right?" Burt asked leaning forward and Kurt could tell he was working himself up so he placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Well, wait a second." Paul cut in for the first time. "You have been acting differently lately David. You use to get As and Bs. You're talking back, you're acting out, you have a bruise on your face, and now we're sitting here. So let me ask you, why would Kurt make that up?"

There was hardly a pause between the question and Dave's response. "Maybe he likes me."

It was inevitable after saying something like that, that Puck would spring himself from the wall. Kurt yelled his name and rose to his feet but it was Burt who wrapped his arms around Puck, pulling him away from Karofsky who had risen to his feet in shock.

"He's a lunatic!" Karofsky was yelling, "They're both making all this up!"

"Say that again!" Puck yelled, pulling viscously against Burt's hold. "I dare you!"

"This isn't helping!" Kurt's voice was the loudest in the room, causing everyone to go still.

Sue who watched the whole exchange quietly spoke with an abundance of authority. "Puckerman I think you should wait outside."

"But-!"

"Now."

Puck sent one more glare at Dave before shrugging out of Burt's hold and storming, with as much dignity as possible, out of the room.

Burt brushed himself off, straightening his clothes. "I think we are wasting our time here. It's your job to protect people." He directed the last at Sue, pointing with an accusatory finger.

"I couldn't agree more." She replied and without skipping a beat turned to look at Dave. "After hearing both sides of the story you are hereby expelled. I will not have one student physically assaulting another. If you don't think this is fair-well you can appeal to the school board." She shrugged her shoulders flippantly. "You'll leave campus immediately."

Paul swallowed hard but when he spoke his tone was polite enough, "I appreciate your time."

Kurt took a few steps back as Paul and Dave made their way to the door. "Thank you." Burt said honestly before following the Karofsky's out the door.

Puck was sitting in one of the chairs outside of the principal's office. He was use to sitting there, waiting to be called in, but this situation was so much different from all the times before. He stood to his feet when the Karofsky's walked out, and noticed how Paul put a hand on his son's shoulder, ushering him out of the school as quickly as possible. Burt and Kurt followed closely behind.

"What happened in there?" Puck asked approaching Kurt slowly.

"Dad…can you give us a minute?" Kurt asked folding his arms.

Burt looked between the boys for a moment but then nodded. "I'll just…be waiting in the car then."

"Look, I know I fucked up in there Kurt but I-"

His words where cut off by the force of the hug. Kurt practically threw himself into Puck, wrapping his arms around his neck.

"You're shaking." Puck said with surprise.

Kurt had to stand on the tips of his toes to whisper into Puck's ear. "Coach Sylvester expelled him." Kurt said with a smile in his voice. "He's never coming back. I never have to see him again." Then with the certainty of a man set free he breathed, "It's over."

Puck slowly put one arm around Kurt, halfway returning the embrace. "That's great." Puck said, truly feeling happy for Kurt. "Four days down."

Kurt gave a genuine laugh, pulling away from the embrace. "And we're both sill in one piece."

"Barely," Puck said ever the pessimist. "It is only Saturday."

* * *

"I don't think he'll ever talk to me again." Puck said while descending the stairs to Kurt's room after Finn had thoroughly ignored both of them when they had past him in the living room.

"You don't sound particularly vexed by this," Kurt pointed out.

"I am a little but I…" He trailed off slightly looking a bit sheepish. "I just don't regret punching him. Dude had it coming."

Kurt shot him a glare. "If you'd use your words instead of your fists for once, this wouldn't be such a problem."

"If I didn't use my fists I wouldn't have given Karofsky that big bruise on his ugly face." He said matter-of-factly, plopping down on the couch.

Kurt felt sick as he sat next to him. "Don't say his name."

Puck continued though he did send an apologetic look in Kurt's general direction, "I've officially done the community a great service by getting him kicked out of school. I'll be off probation in no time."

Kurt hesitated a little before speaking, "I think we should talk."

Those words set a kind of practiced fear into Puck. They never meant anything good. "About what?" He asked his tone and body language suddenly guarded.

"Well…" Kurt began licking his lips. "You never told me what happened between you and your mom."

"Because it's none of your business."

Kurt gave a kind of startled laugh. "'None of my business.'" He repeated, "I think we're a little past that by now don't you?" When Puck didn't say anything to that Kurt pressed further. "You helped me Puck. Let me help you." He was hoping the statement would be a gesture of friendship, but it only served to aggravate Puck more.

"You want to help me?" He demanded. "You actually think you can help me?" And he spat out 'you' like it was a dirty curse.

Kurt nodded, trying not to be offended. "I want to try."

"What is this the fucking Breakfast Club?"

Kurt blinked. "You know what the Breakfast Club is but not Good Will Hunting?"

"Screw you Elton. I'm only helping you to get off probation, you don't owe me shit."

Kurt stared at Puck, looking as if he had come to a grand realization. "What are you so scared of?"

Puck rolled his eyes. "Don't try to get into my head like that."

"No really Puck, I really want to know." Kurt's voice was rising with anger. "What has you so afraid to tell me one simple thing?"

"It has nothing to do with you!"

"What have you fucked up badly enough to get tossed out of your house for?"

"I'm just a fuck up okay!" Puck finally yelled rising to his feet. "I'm a Lima loser. I'm a steroid junky, and a criminal." He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself but failing. "A whore." He choked out, finding it was getting harder to breath properly. "I'm unholy." The last was barely a whisper and something made Kurt's insides grow cold.

He stood slowly approaching Puck, and all Puck did was shake his head. "Is that what she told you?" He carefully lifted a hand to the taller boy's face, and felt the first tear touch the tip of his middle finger.

"Don't." Puck said firmly, slapping Kurt's hand away viscously.

Kurt had a vivid flashback of slapping away Karofsky's hand in the stairwell. "You believe that don't you?" He asked a little amazed, feeling for the first time that he truly understood the boy in front of him. I can stay here tonight? He remembered Puck asking him the night before, Free of charge? Kurt felt sick all over again.

"You can't help me." Puck said, already edging his way back to the stairs. "You can't even help yourself."

Kurt shook his head again recognizing that Puck was just lashing out to push him away. "Noah-"

"Stop acting like you give a damn! Nobody gives a damn." He said and he did realized how much of a clichéd troubled teen he sounded, but he couldn't have stopped the words spilling from his mouth even if he wanted to.

"Wait-" Kurt said as he took a half step forward to follow Puck out of the room.

Puck turned wearing a glare on his face that stopped Kurt dead in his tracks. "Stay away from me." And his voice was so calm it was frightening.

The door slammed.

Kurt wrapped his arms around himself, and shuddered, feeling the emptiness of the room with every fiber of his being. He stared stupidly at the spot where Puck had been, wishing horribly for him to reappear.

He didn't.


	10. Horror Show

**Author's Note:** I updated faster this time, just because I adore all my **reviews **sooo much! This chapter might be a little bit of an **angst-fest** and by little bit, I mean a lot a bit. My new LJ will be posted in my about me section soon. Again, I thank everyone who continues to **review**, it means a lot to me.

**You Are What You Is**

**Chapter 10: Horror Show  
**

Poke drove.

It's hard to drive for so many hours through a small town like Lima, unless you know it really well. And Puck did, so he drove so long that his legs cramped and his new pack of cigarettes slowly became a half pack. He drove the zigg zagg patterns of the suburbs, the long winding back roads which lead to dead ends, main streets which where cluttered with Saturday afternoon traffic, even service roads with puddles the size of ponds. And while he drove, he thought.

After he cooled down enough to think that is. He was furious when he left the Hummel's house, for long moments he had actually considered how much of a relief it would be to punch Kurt right in his lady-boy face. But it didn't take him long to come to the realization that he hadn't wanted to punch Kurt, from the beginning all he had wanted to do was help Kurt. But it was unthinkable that Puck himself would end up needing some helping too and that just didn't sit right with him.

Because Puck was fairly certain he didn't need help.

He had dealt with all of his little sister's problems. His mom's drinking problems, tantrums, and violent outbursts. He had dealt with his dad leaving to become a rock star, while his mom turned to questionable boyfriends with tempers that matched her own. He had dealt with the loss of his popularity, his best friend, and worst of all, his baby. Most recently he had dealt with getting arrested and sent to juvie.

And he had done it all without anyone's help. So why should he accept help now?

Puck was surprised to see that he had driven to the outskirts of town. He parked his car on the rumble strips, and stared ahead at the long, empty stretch of highway which ran alongside wide empty fields. The setting sun hit the road sign directly in front of his truck, sending the rays back at him and making him wince.

You are now leaving Lima, Ohio.

So what was he left with?

Well, with his duffel bag sitting in Kurt's bedroom; a half a pack of cigarettes, loose change, the clothes on his back, and his battered truck. He messed up and got kicked out of his house, than he ran out of the only place that was willing to have him. And he was angry. Angry at his mom, at Kurt, at Karofsky, and everything else that he could possibly think of to be mad about.

He wanted to leave so much it surprised him. Start a new life. Fuck probation, forget about his mom, and leave Kurt to clean up the mess they had started together. No more burdens and no more responsibilities.

He had no money for a bus ticket, and his quarter tank of gas would only get him so far. He sighed as he started his car, and took an exit that would loop back to Lima.

* * *

Kurt was sitting stiff backed in his vanity chair. If he were to look, he would be able to see the reflection of Puck's gym bag, of the rumpled covers where he had been laying. But Kurt wasn't looking at that; he was looking at his own reflection.

The sight of it was much more shocking than it was the day before. Maybe it was because the events of the previous day had been allowed to sink in that the bruises seemed so much louder, the cuts so much harsher, and his eyes so much deader. It was troubling to Kurt that if a stranger where to lay eyes on him, there would be no doubt that something very bad had happened.

His face was like a horror show, and he couldn't look away. The morbid feeling of blank curiosity that engrossed him would have scared him if he really noticed it, but he felt the most unaware of himself he ever remembered feeling before. That person in the mirror wasn't Kurt Hummel.

Finn was timidly making his way down the stairs, walking through the room under the pretense of getting some fresh clothes from his dresser. Kurt didn't move at all, he simply sat trying to decide if his bruises where monochromatic or not.

The silence got to be too much for Finn, and he threw a sock down on the floor in frustration.

"Look, I know you're pissed at me, and maybe you have to right to be," He took a breath mainly to stall what he was about to say. "But I didn't know about what happened yesterday. And what I walked in on _did_ look really bad-"

Finn paused when he realized he was being expertly ignored.

"You okay?" Finn asked on impulse and felt immediately stupid because everything about Kurt's appearance was quite obviously not okay. Not an inch of the small boy's body moved after Finn spoke, his eyes stayed perfectly fixed on his own reflection. Finn paused for a moment before wetting his lips nervously. "_Kurt_." He said with as much force as he dared to. It seemed to be enough though because it made Kurt snap out of his trance, and his eyes flickered briefly over to Finn's reflection before he busied himself with opening bottles and picking up brushes.

"Hello Finn." Kurt's voice was not unkind, but it wasn't exactly brimming with warmth either.

Finn grimaced. "How long are you going to be mad at me for?" He asked a little harshly. "None of this was my fault." And he gestured to himself in one quick, sharp motion.

Kurt nodded, taking a moment to spray his hair carefully in place. "That's exactly right Finn. You had nothing to do with this at all."

A rarity occurred as Finn had good enough sense to look properly ashamed. "I would have done something if I knew things with Karofsky where that bad." But the words lacked passion, because even he didn't really believe that.

And Kurt didn't believe it either. He swiveled his chair to give Finn a hard look, his weariness apparent on his face. He made eye contact with Finn and the little determination that Finn showed evaporated and he broke their gaze, looking shamefully down at his feet.

"You're right. I do have a right to be pissed." Finn looked if possibly even more broken, and Kurt couldn't help but soften his face and his voice. It was always hard for him to stay mad at Finn. Maybe it was because he had once had a hopeless crush on the bumbling boy, or perhaps it had something to do with that expression Finn was capable of making. Like someone had just shot his puppy."But that doesn't mean I'll be mad forever." Finn's relief was obvious on his face so Kurt was quick to add, "You do however, owe Puck an apology."

It was oddly satisfying to See Finn's jaw drop in a near disgusted surprise. "He _hit _me."

Kurt nodded, but didn't bother to point out that Finn didn't even have a bruise. "I was there, and you said something pretty awful."

Though Kurt knew he couldn't expect Finn to grasp the severity of what he had said without knowing the entire story, he expected Finn to recognize the severity of his tone.

And Finn must have, because he nodded mutely.

Kurt gave the tiniest of smiles. "Thank you."

Thinking the conversation was over, Kurt turned back to mirror to finish making himself look presentable.

For a moment Finn looked as if he would walk away than hesitated. Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"What's going on with you two?"

Kurt pushed the anger down. Finn's tone was innocent enough. "Nothing." Kurt said shrugging with such nonchalance that it put Finn at his ease, and Kurt shifted in his seat, feeling the same sinking sensation he did every time he told a lie.

* * *

"Kurt."

The friendly voice made Kurt look up from where he was sitting straight backed in the café chair, pretending to look over the menu, when in reality he was trying to keep his head down so no one would look too close at his face.

Blaine's blinked when he saw Kurt's face and he sat down in the chair across from him, his own face looked as if he had no doubt that something very bad had happened.

"Kurt are you okay?" Blaine asked sweetly, as if his very heart was breaking.

Kurt lay down his menu carefully. "Do you remember that bully I mentioned to you a while back?"

Blaine nodded his brow creased further. "The Neanderthal who made it his mission to make your life a living hell?"

"That's the one," Kurt said with the same tone of nonchalance he had used on Finn earlier.

It did not seem to set Blaine at ease in the least. "How did this happen? When? Are you going to press charges?"

The worried questions caught Kurt off guard, but he was in a way glad he was being asked them. "It's a long story and it happened just yesterday," Kurt sighed. "I'm not going to be pressing charges but," And here he broke out into a genuine smile. "It's over and done with. He's been expelled and I never have to see or hear from him again."

Blaine nodded, slowly leaning back in his seat. "Do you-" He stopped himself than started again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Kurt blinked.

"I had similar problems at my old school." Blaine clarified gesturing at Kurt's appearance, and then quickly put his hand in his lap realizing it was a less than sensitive gesture to make. He continued embarrassed, "I had to switch schools entirely to get rid of my bullies, and I really could have used someone to talk about it with." He looked uncomfortable, though he kept his voice steady and calm.

Kurt was about to refuse and then he paused. Why had he invited Blaine here? He hadn't stopped to think about it, but now he realized that it was because he _did _want to talk about it. And it would be easier to talk to Blaine than it would be to talk to anyone else, because Blaine understood what it was liked to be bullied. And even if Blaine didn't understand, or ended up looking at him differently for it, it wouldn't matter because he wouldn't be losing a good friend, or risk the story getting circulated around the school. He just needed to tell someone.

So he did. He started from the beginning. He went into more detail than he thought he would, and he had less emotion over the entire matter than he thought he would. He had already felt everything about the situation that he could possibly feel, and though he was far from past it, and even now he felt a nagging doubt that things were going to stay in his favor, he felt better for telling his story.

And Blaine was the perfect audience. He placed his own hand over Kurt's in a light and comforting way, he spat out the appropriate curses, and actually gave a quiet wordless cheer when he got to the part where Puck punched Karofsky in the gut.

Kurt was surprised to find that when he had finished, there was absolutely nothing left unsaid.

* * *

The sun had set entirely, leaving the air chilled, but the sidewalk on which Puck sat still retained some warmth. Thunder rumbled ahead, but he wasn't concerned with it; it sounded like it was a long way off. He tried to take a drag off his cig only to find that he had let the bud burn out, the tips of his fingers where stained with fallen ash he hadn't notice land.

Not having anything else to occupy his time, he shook out another cigarette and lit it, enjoying the taste it left on his lips. A wind blew the smoke in his face and it was the kind of warm, wild wind you felt just before a big storm. Across the street he saw a boy on his bike start to peddle faster.

He looked at his cell and saw five missed calls from Kurt, and one text message that simply read; _I'm sorry. Come back._ Reading it made his insides clenched. He was still angry at Kurt, perhaps irrationally so, and spending the day alone in his car had only solidified that anger; had only spiraled him into a deeper depression. He had started replaying the words his mom spoke to him when she kicked him out. The words his dad spoke to him when he saw him last, almost four years ago now. And the words Kurt spoke to him before he ran.

He had thought about his sister and wondered if she was okay. But she was always so angry that he was worried calling her would make it worse. Would she think Puck had abandoned her like their dad? He thought about all his attempts he had made to reach out to his her, and how she had always violently pushed him away. She was so much like his mom that it scared him, and he decided that if she needed him for something, she would call and demand it. She hadn't though. Not even a text.

He felt half convinced that his family didn't want him, and sure as hell that he had fucked up his chances with the one person who did.

Slowly, as if dreading it, he stood, turning to face the apartment building in front of him. He didn't want to think about why he had decided to come _here _of all places. He was done thinking. He was hungry, thirsty, and his mind was exhausted in a way he had never felt before. He threw away his half finished cigarette, and shouldered the door open.

Robotically, he climbed the stairwell until he reached the third floor, found the door he was looking for and knocked. He waited a few seconds and was about to knock again when the door opened wide.

"Hey," he said sheepishly, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot.

"Puck?" Mr. Shue asked surprised. "What are you doing here?" He asked on impulse, then he took a closer look and paused. He took in how Puck was hunched over, his hands nervously twisting in front of him, the bruise on his face, and the expression itself; wide eyed and horribly nervous. Briefly, Will thought as if he'd never seen a more miserable sight.

"I-uh-I" He stuttered incomprehensibly not knowing what to say now that he was there.

The teacher stepped aside. "Come in," He told Puck gesturing in a way that he hoped wasn't intimidating.

Puck shuffled in, and felt himself tense as Mr. Shue shut the door behind him, he was gestured forward further into the apartment but he didn't move.

"What happened?" Will asked stupidly.

Puck was reminded of his question to Kurt in the locker room. It seemed like such a long time ago, but it was really just a handful of days. _What happened?_ That was the question that started all of this. Suddenly, he realized why he was here, because Will Shuester was the one adult in Puck's life that he never felt afraid of. He trusted the man in front of him almost blindly, though it scared him to admit even to himself.

He felt the weight of everything for the first time. All the things he hadn't dealt with where ready to spill over. From the day his dad left to this moment, every mistake he ever made, every lie he ever told, his family, his baby, his friends…Kurt.

Puck leaned against the door, taking a deep breath fully intending to say something-anything that wouldn't make him look like a weepy pansy, but instead he began to cry.


	11. The Space Between Them

**Author's Note:** Fuck. I'm really sorry for the wait, if anyone is still reading this please enjoy this chapter!

**Chapter 11: The Space Between Them**

"It's okay." Mr. Shue was saying softly to him. "Everything's okay."

Puck realized he was sitting on the ground, his back against the door and his head in his hands. He didn't remember sitting down, maybe he had fallen down. Mr. Shue had a hand on his shoulder, and he struggled to calm himself, but in an odd girly way, it felt good to let everything out.

He attempted to talk through his sobs, _I'm okay. _He wanted to say when he caught a glance as his teacher's concerned face, but it was unintelligible, and it just made Mr. Shue hush him.

"I screwed up." Puck managed to say presently. "I'm so sorry." And he wasn't sure why he was apologizing to his teacher of all people.

A few more deep breaths and he felt the worse of it passing and Mr. Shue helped him up and led him further into the apartment, through a well furnished living room, and into a kitchen which looked hardly used at all. Puck didn't need to be asked to sit at the small table, collapsing with relief into the wooden chair. Another small sob escaped his lips, and he wiped at the tears on his face furiously as Mr. Shue placed a glass of water in front of him.

"Drink." He commanded softly sitting across from him.

Puck simply stared at the glass of water even though he was thirsty he didn't like being told what to do. Yeah, he had some issues with authority, so sue him.

"Puck…" Shue began slowly, as if afraid of making the boy in front of him run away. "Is everything okay at home?"

Puck almost laughed stopping himself because he knew how all this must look. Shue was bond to jump to the wrong conclusions…or the right ones. "Yeah," He lied easily. He was use to lying about his home life.

"Do you want me to call your mom then?"

"No." Puck replied much too quickly and firmly. His head snapped up and he saw the gentle smile on Mr. Shue's face, and he realized that his teacher had called his bluff. He glared daggers.

"Why not, Noah?"

It was surprising to hear his name from him, as Mr. Shue had always been the only teacher that didn't refuse to call him Puck.

He took a breath, "She kicked me out." He shrugged his shoulders, but he felt his face flush with shame.

Will blinked, "When? Today?"

Puck shook his head, "Thursday."

"_Thursday_?" He asked incredulously, "Where have you been staying?" His brow was creased with worry and he was speaking softly.

"At Kurt's," It wasn't a complete lie. Then he added miserably, "But I screwed that up too."

"You're not giving me a lot to go off here Puck." He said with a bit of authority in his voice, "You need to tell me what's going on."

Puck stayed silent.

"Okay…" Mr. Shue said, choosing another approach, "Let's start with that," He pointed at the bruise on his student's face.

"This was from Karofsky," Puck said, though there was pride in his voice. He was surprised however when Mr. Shue looked confused, "You didn't hear about that? I thought all the teachers would know by now."

"Know what?"

"Karofsky attacked Kurt. Coach Sylvester expelled him." He was surprised that the event could be summed up so quickly, having lived through it, it felt like there should be a lot more words to explain it.

Will's face was suddenly angry, and Puck felt himself tense. "This is just like Sue!" He banged his fist on the table.

The action startled Puck, and he stood before he realized what he was doing. The chair almost fell over and he had to scramble to save it.

Will was apologizing, confusion plain on his face. "I'm mad at Sue not at you. It's okay," He said calmly. "You can sit back down."

Puck's face flushed with embarrassment as he positioned his chair and sat.

"Since two of my students were involved in an altercation this serious, I should have been notified immediately." Will sighed audibly, "Is Kurt okay?"

That was a loaded question. Kurt probably wouldn't ever be quite the same again, but Puck realized that wasn't what Will was asking. "He's banged up, and Karofsky's officially on my shit list, but nothing too serious happened." He shrugged again. It was an understatement at best but he wasn't going to spill Kurt's secrets.

"Good," Mr. Shue sighed in relief, and ran a hand through his hair. "And what about you?" Again Puck stayed silent, "Are you okay?" He tried again.

Puck folded his hands, leaning back in his chair and placing his folded hands on the table. "Yeah," And he was ashamed of the obvious lie.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me the truth." Will reached out to touch Puck's hands, but the he pulled his hands away, the reaction looked as easy to him as breathing. "You can trust me." He added a little sadly.

Puck felt guilty immediately, but to be honest he hadn't really realized he was doing it till it was too late. His eyes darted around the kitchen and he saw an open container of take-out, and he felt guiltier for catching Mr. Shue during dinner. If he had interrupted his mom's dinner so rudely she would be furious. His stomach grumbled and he wished dimly that he had eaten breakfast at the Hummel's. "I know Mr. Shue. There's just a lot of shit right now, y'know?" He tried not to sound as tired as he felt.

"Maybe I can talk to your mom? I'm sure whatever happened-"

Puck shook his head, "Have you ever met my mom? When has she ever come to a glee club performance? A football game? A fucking parent-teacher conference?"

"Never." Will admitted after thinking for a moment. "Why is that?"

Puck decided to ignore the question. "She's not going to talk to you." He spoke with finality.

"We have to figure out something. You're too young to live on your own. There _are_ other options to consider."

"I'm not going into the system!" Puck said fiercely, gripping the edge of the table.

Mr. Shue sighed. "What about your dad?" But there wasn't a lot of hope in his voice.

Puck took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He had no clue where his dad was. "I'm fucked aren't I?" He asked before even considering the words.

If Mr. Shue was offended by the bad language he didn't show it. "You can stay here." Puck looked up, surprised. "Temporarily. Till we figure something out, okay?"

Puck nodded slowly. It was better than any other option he had. "Thanks Mr. Shue." And he was really grateful, even if his tone was more guarded than happy.

* * *

"Fuck you." Kurt cursed at his phone as Puck didn't answer yet again. He was walking into the school, alone and it felt strange not to have Puck hovering over him. He was early as always, so the halls where relatively empty, and he walked straight for Puck's locker, not even bothering to stop at his own to get his first period books. He was going to talk to Noah Puckerman if it killed him.

He kept thinking about when he had met Puck's mom, and all the awful things she had said to him. Puck thought he was a whore because his mom and other adults treated him like one. If Kurt had known the truth about him, he never would have pushed so hard and made him spill his secrets. All he ended up doing was pushing Puck away from him.

Sunday had come and went without any word from him, and Kurt was starting to worry. He kept imagining Puck sleeping in his truck, or finding another MILF to stay with. His concern was replaced with relief as he saw the boy in question walking down the hall toward him.

"How did I know you'd be here?" Puck asked when he was close.

"Where have you been? I've been worried sick about you! I called-"

"Ten times." Puck interrupted. "You called ten times yesterday and left thirteen texts." Kurt stepped aside as Puck reached to open his locker. "I didn't know what to say to you."

It didn't escape Kurt's notice that Puck waited till he was turned away to say that, that his voice was not angry or cold, but vulnerable. "I'm sorry." Kurt said quietly. "I never should have made you talk about it. I had no idea…" He broke off, not sure what he had been planning on saying.

"It's okay," Puck said surprising Kurt. "After I left your house…I ended up at Mr. Shue's . He's letting me stay there till I figure out what to do." He turned to face Kurt, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Kurt resisted the urge to reach out and touch Puck. He looked so much like he needed comfort.

"We keep avoiding… this." Kurt said gesturing to both of them. He hated the empty space between them, which seemed much farther to him than just a few feet. "We keep avoiding _us._"

Kurt was right, all the small almost romantic moments they shared had been ignored, and now they were catching up with them.

But Puck had done a lot of thinking since Saturday, and he knew with a kind of startling certainty what he needed to do.

"I'm done."

"What?" Kurt blurted stupidly.

"I'm done with our arrangement, and I'm done with whatever this shit is." He repeated Kurt's gesture. All at once he wished there wasn't any distance between them at all, that there was a world of distance, that they could be together, that he would never see Kurt again.

Kurt felt his anger and frustration rising quickly. "You don't mean that." Was all that came out.

"You don't get to tell me what I mean." He echoed the icy tone he had used before storming out of Kurt's bedroom days before.

It didn't have the same effect as it did the time before. "You are nothing but an emotionally stunted little boy-"

"Don't-!"

But Kurt continued over him, "Who's too afraid of what might happen if he cares about anyone but himself!"

As soon as the words were out of Kurt's mouth, Puck used the side of his fist to punch his locker in anger. The sound echoed around the hall silencing other students. Kurt took a startled step backwards, a small whimper escaping his lips that he would forever deny.

For a moment they stared at one another, and one by one the students around them lost interest and went back to their gossip. Kurt was the first to break their intense gaze, tightening his hand around the strap of his bag and walking past the Mohawked teen with so much practiced superiority it left Puck feeling cold.


	12. Big Gay Confrontation

**Author's Note**: What can say I say except I'm sorry for the wait? One day I'll learn to never post a story without finishing it first; that way I won't take a year to finish it... Anyway I hope this chapter makes anyone who is still reading this story happy! I had a lot of fun writing it.

**You Are What You Is**

**Chapter 12: Big Gay Confrontation**

"Hey puck, wait up." Finn called after Puck for the tenth time trying to catch up to him in the hall.

"In case you haven't noticed Hudson," Puck said when Finn was finally close enough to hear. "I'm ignoring you."

Finn jogged till he was side by side with the other boy. "Fine then I'll just walk to glee practice with you."

Puck shrugged, fully intending on ignoring Finn the entire way there. Starting the day by having that little chat with Hummel wasn't helping his mood. He felt almost like he just broke up with the kid. But no, he reminded himself, there hadn't been anything between the two of them. If there was it was just a lapse of judgment on his part.

"Dude, just stop for a minute." Finn placed a hand on Puck's shoulder, apparently abandoning his previous plan.

Puck shrugged quickly away from the touch, but it did make him stop and turn toward Finn. "I'm really _not _in the mood Finn."

"C'mon Puckerman. We use to be best friends, remember?"

Puck sighed. "Don't remind me."

"I wanted to apologize." Finn blurted out, "So just hear me out, alright?" Finn paused long enough to see if Puck would interrupt him. "I shouldn't have reacted like I did the other day. I shouldn't have said... y'know..."

Finn trailed off and Puck stared him down. He resisted the urge to tell his Finn to fuck off. He reminded himself that being friends with Finn again could help get things back to normal. "It's cool man," Puck began with a shrug. "I get it. Just stop to think next time before you open that big dumb mouth of yours."

Finn laughed awkwardly but seemed relieved. "I was just surprised. I still don't understand what's going on between you two."

Puck was immediately annoyed again, but decided to ignore Finn's obvious fishing. "I'm sorry I hit you."

Finn shrugged. "I probably deserved it."

"You did." Puck said with out any hesitation. After a moment of Finn looking ridiculously disappointed, Puck nodded his head down the hallway. "We're going to be late for glee."

When they walked into the choir room Puck noticed that the only person yet to arrive was Shue. There was a bit of a fuss being made as people crowded around Kurt, who was sitting in a chair towards the far end of the choir room. Kurt was struggling to get a word in as people asked him too many questions for him to answer.

Puck saw how uncomfortable Kurt looked, trying to explain what happened to all of their friends. Their eyes locked as Finn moved past Puck to join the rest of the group. In Kurt's eyes was a silent plea for help. Puck gave a slight shake of his head breaking their gaze and hung back from the crowd of Gleeks, leaning against the piano.

"Really, there isn't anything to worry about." Kurt was saying trying to regain control of the situation. "I may be a little worse for wear, but with Karofsky expelled everything should go back to normal."

"This is a hate crime." Rachel exclaimed.

"She's right," Tina spoke up, "You should press charges Kurt."

"Why didn't you tell us that things got this bad?" Artie asked, "We could have done something to help." There was a general murmur of agreement.

Mercedes spoke then, "You're my boy Kurt, I would do anything to protect you."

"Everyone to your seats." Mr. Shue said as he suddenly walked into the room and set his briefcase on top of the piano. "You too Puck." He added quietly to Puck who rolled his eyes and made his way to an empty seat behind Sam.

"By now all of you would have heard that David Karofsky has been expelled." There was an outbreak of mumbling from the teens, but Mr. Shue continued over them. "I know that you all have a lot of questions but what we need to be focused on is practicing."

Kurt attempted to show his eternal gratefulness to his teacher in a quick glance.

Mr. Shue paused to let his words sink in and the talking to stop completely before continuing. "We mostly have dance moves to work through, and Mike I was hoping you and Brittany could work together to come up with a great routine for sectionals. And Rachel, we need to work on-"

"William." Sue Sylvester was suddenly in the doorway. Everyone in the room turned toward her surprised. "I need to see you and Noah Puckerman in my office please."

Shue said something about practicing the Journey song which was met by some objection before motioning for Puck to follow him. Puck thought for a moment about how good a job he was doing at starting the week off right before standing up and following his teacher and Sue out of the office.

* * *

"This is garbage!" When Puck entered the office he expected this entire thing to be about Karofsky and Kurt, the last thing he expected was for his probation officer to be waiting in the office for him. "I've been doing my community service."

"When you wrote hanging with a crip on your probation application we thought you we're doing out reach for a local gang." The lady was leaning up against the bookshelf to Puck's right.

"No," Puck started trying to stay calm though he was getting increasingly frustrated. "I was going to help this cripple, but instead I've been helping this queer kid and it totally worked!"

"Puckerman." Coach Sylvester warned.

"Seriously. If it wasn't for me Karofsky never would have gotten expelled. You can't say that isn't a great service to the community!" And Puck really wasn't sure why everyone was looking at him like he was an idiot child but it really pissed him off. "Please Mr. Shue, you gotta help me out here."

"Ms. Marten, there's got to be some way Puck can make up for this. He's been a model student since he got back."

Ms. Marten looked Puck up and down critically before answering. "Five whole days. Impressive." She seemed to suppress the urge to roll her eyes. "Look, there are rules. If Mr. Puckerman doesn't find a suitable alternative for his community service, by tomorrow, his probation will be revoked and he'll have to go back to the Mondale school for boys."

"Oh screw that," Puck hit the table hard with his hands. "I am _not_ going back there!"

"Puckerman you're going to have to calm down." Sue said sounding reasonable. Who was she to sound reasonable when everyone knew she was completely insane?

"No you calm down!" Puck yelled staring right at her. "All of you calm down! I told you I'm not going back there!" He looked at them all, and when he laid eyes on his probation officer he saw that she was writing away in a file. And where did that file even come from? "What the hell are you writing?" He stood and threw the file to the left. It was satisfying to hear the sound it made as the papers settled to the ground.

"Puck!" Mr. Shue was standing up. "This isn't helping."

And Puck felt done. He didn't know how many times in the last few days he had felt this way, but all he knew is that he was _done._ Stick a fork in Noah Puckerman, because he is probably starting to burn. " Why does anyone think they can help me?" He asked, "None of you care about me." He knocked a few things off of the principle's desk. Sue just sat there not looking scared or angry or surprised at all. It pissed him off even more. "All of you can go to hell."

Puck ran out of the office then, hearing Mr. Shue trying to make up excuses for him before the sound of his footsteps on the hard floor of the deserted hallway drowned him out.

* * *

Kurt's heart had nearly stopped when Coach Sylvester had called Puck to her office. He kept telling himself he didn't care. Puck's obvious choice to dismiss him, and the feelings they both felt, was enough of a reason to stop giving a flying drag queen's ass, right?

He had watched as Puck stood up and swaggered his way out of the room. In an air of _I'm too cool to __be here anyway_. Before Mercedes or anyone could notice Kurt staring at the seat Puck was in seconds before, he moved his glance to Rachel as she stood and made a small speech about directing the group in Mr. Shue's absence.

"No way am I sticking around here while crazy white girl teaches us how to be better background vocalists." Mercedes said standing up and swinging her purse over her shoulder. "I have a history paper to write."

Kurt carefully hid a laugh with a cough at Rachel's horrified face as a few other Glee members mumbled agreement.

"Guys! You heard Mr. Shue, we need to keep focusing on practice." She used her matter-of-fact tone, crossing her arms over her chest.

Finn was standing up with the rest of the Gleeks now. "Sorry Rachel; Monday night football." That was really the only explanation Finn thought he needed. "Coming Kurt?"

For a moment Kurt hesitated, and he watched as Rachel stormed out of the room ranting about ungratefulness. "Actually I'm going to meet up with Britt at the mall. A much preferable pass time to watching football with you and my dad."

Finn shrugged and stalked off, behind his back Kurt breathed a sigh of relief that Finn bought his obvious lie. Either Finn was really that dense or he was trying to avoid an argument now that he was just barely back in Kurt's good graces.

After waiting a few minutes to ensure the parking lot was practically empty, Kurt found himself walking towards Puck's truck. Again, he told himself he didn't care ignoring that his actions pretty much revealed that for what it was; a lie.

It was only a moment after Kurt leaned against the truck that he saw Puck rushing out of the building.

A pone seeing Kurt, Puck stopped briefly. He took a deep breath calming some of the storm that was inside of him, before putting his hands in his pockets and walking the rest of the short distance.

"Are we going to do this again?" He asked leaning up against the car right next to Kurt, inches between their shoulders.

Kurt swallowed, but didn't look at Puck. "Do what?"

Puck was puling a cigarette out of his pack, grateful that Kurt wasn't looking to see his shaking fingers. "Have another Big Gay Confrontation."

Kurt almost laughed. "Is that what you call these?"

Puck only shrugged and with hands still shaking, tried unsuccessfully a few times to light his cigarette. Kurt sighed and turned gracefully towards him, placing his hands around the lighter to protect the flame. Once it was lit, Kurt moved away. Their fingers didn't even graze each other.

"Did you get in trouble because of me?" Kurt asked resting back against the driver side door.

"If I don't go pick up trash on the highway like Lima Scum then their sending me back to juvie."

"Oh." Kurt said, and was surprised that it was only now dawning on him that Puck following him around wasn't actually community service. He mentally kicked himself for being so dumb. "I guess we should have seen this coming."

"I'm skipping town." Puck spoke with conviction and all the confidence in the world. "I can't go back to that hell hole."

Kurt blinked. "I thought you loved it there? I thought you kicked everyone's ass?"

"I lied." He spat, smoke rolling off his tongue. "I got my ass handed to me on the first day when some dude ripped out my nipple ring. I'm a badass for sure, but those kids?" He shook his head, and in the most defeated tone Kurt had ever heard Puck added, "Plus they kept taking my waffles."

"Then do the garbage pick up."

Puck growled. "No way!"

"How are you going to live? On the streets? How do you plan on making money?"

Puck took one last drag of his cigarette, "The same way I always have." He threw the butt as far as he could.

Kurt's felt kind of sick. "Don't go."

"Give me one good reason."

He pushed himself from the car throwing up his hands, but Puck kept his eyes locked on the ground. "There are people here who care about you Puck! Mr. Shue is doing everything he can to help you, and Glee club needs you even if your talents are mediocre. Not to mention your little sister will wonder where her big brother went! And... because..." He slowed down getting embarrassed by what he was about to say. "Because I can't go with you."

Puck finally looked up, staring straight at him with eyes that knew too much-not only about Kurt but about pain and rejection. Kurt's voice was softer when he spoke next. "Noah, you were prepared to spend two entire weeks with me; I think picking up trash is the lesser of two evils."

"So, it's that easy? Big Gay Confrontation fixes everything." He knew everything that Kurt was saying was true, but he wasn't willing to give up yet.

Kurt crossed his arms stubbornly; Noah had officially ruined the ending to his impromptu speech. "Don't be a dickhead just because I'm the only one in the parking lot making any sense! And don't do this to Mr. Shue; he's risked a lot by taking you in. And eventually you will get caught and they'll arrest you, or put you into the system. And-"

"For fuck's sake Kurt!" Puck yelled throwing his hands into the air. "I get it. I'd be ten different kinds of stupid if I took off. Just stop with the lecture."

Kurt didn't do a very good job at hiding his smugness. "So you'll stay?"

"I just said that didn't I?" Puck snapped.

"You can stop being so angry at me all the time." Kurt said rolling his eyes. "Why are you always pushing me away?"

Puck took a deep breath, annoyed at how easily Kurt could read him. Kurt Hummel who he use to throw in dumpsters, who he threw pee balloons at, who sounds more like a chick then a dude and dresses like a circus freak. He tried to tell himself again that there was nothing between them. Instead, he found himself answering Kurt's question.

"Because you're the first person who noticed me," He realized he knew the answer all along. "and I hate you for that." There was still anger in his voice, but it was more self-deprecating than anything else.

Kurt's expression softened as he felt a change in the tone of the conversation. He was suddenly aware that Puck was closer than before. He wondered briefly if it was himself that had started to close the distance or if it was Noah. Pulling his thoughts together he answered the other boy's honesty with some of his own.

"I hate you too." Kurt stood completely still as Puck shuffled forward, stopping when his knock-off rebox touched the tip of Kurt's black and white oxfords. "But I'll get over it."

That morning, Puck had been convinced that he and Kurt would be better off with out each other. Mostly because Puck knew he was a destructive force and he didn't want to take Kurt down with him. Partly because, in all honesty, Kurt was really good at pissing him off.

But when Noah Pukerman had woken up with Kurt Hummel in his arms that had stomped on any chance of them being rid of each other. It just took him this long to realize it.

In the middle of a nearly empty parking lot outside of a high school in the shit town of Lima Ohio, Puck ever so carefully pulled Kurt as close as he dared, and kissed him.


End file.
